Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some believe that children should start school after the age of 7 while others think that school should begin from a very young age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some believe that children should start school after the age of 7 while others think that school should begin from a very young age. v. 1
The suitable age of starting school for children has been a subject of considerable debate among educators and parents. While some advocate starting school as early as 4, others insist that their children should be at least 6 when they start school. However, I believe that kids must be mature mentally, psychologically, and emotionally before starting school, which is usually at 6 or 7 for most children. Many parents prefer their children to attend kindergarten at an earlier age because that will give them ahead start in learning. Placing children in a educational and stimulating environment will bring great benefits for young children. Not only will teach them how to read and write, but also will help them develop their social skills by interacting with other pupils. Moreover, some research suggests that children who went to school at four or five have better social skills and less behavioural problems later in formal school. Nevertheless, forcing young children to start school very early can put enormous pressure on them and can have a counterproductive effect. On the other hand, advocates for delaying school for children until the age of 6 or 7 argue that younger children are not ready to handle the stress at school. Most kids at age 4 still lack self-control, and unable to focus their attention for a long period of time. Consequently, the school environment will be too stressful for them and they will not benefit from it. Furthermore, child psychologists warn that forcing young children to start school very early may expose them to an emotional trauma that will affect them later as adults. Therefore, in most countries around the world the compulsory age of starting school is 6 to 7 yeas old. To conclude, I believe that children must be mature emotionally, and psychologically before being sent to school. Parents should not pressure their young kids to start school when they are not ready.
The suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has been a subject of considerable debate among educators and parents. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as early as 4, others insist that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be at least 6 when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, I believe that kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be mature mentally,
psychologically
, and
emotionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is
usually
at 6 or 7 for most children.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents prefer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend kindergarten at an earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that will give them ahead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
in learning. Placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
educational and stimulating environment will bring great benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will teach them how to read and write,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by interacting with other pupils.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at four or five have better social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and less
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems later in formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Nevertheless
, forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early can put enormous pressure on them and can have a counterproductive effect.

On the other hand
, advocates for delaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 6 or 7 argue that younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not ready to handle the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Most kids at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
4
still
lack self-control, and unable to focus their attention for a long period of time.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment will be too stressful for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they will not benefit from it.
Furthermore
, child psychologists warn that forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early may expose them to an emotional trauma that will affect them later
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
adults.
Therefore
, in most countries around the world the compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is 6 to 7 yeas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be mature
emotionally
, and
psychologically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Parents should not pressure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when they are not ready.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that children should start school after the age of 7 while others think that school should begin from a very young age. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts