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The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encouraging people to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encouraging people to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. with this opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, traffic congestion has increased rapidly in cities. Moving to country side has the benefits of reducing the transportation. I agree with the option of shifting to village to reduce traffic issue in cities. In the following essay I intend to discuss why agree with the notion. There are several benefits of moving people to provincial side. Firstly, shifting to country side provides more space, which can be utilised by the government for a significant purpose. In turn, the number of people living in urban areas will be reduced. As a result, The traffic in cities decreases drastically and pollution can be controlled by doing as mentioned. Although countryside has many concerns of citizens, government can improve the amenities to encourage them as they have helped by shifting to country side. This way some traffic could be manageable effective. Staying more people around cities could impact their health due to heavy pollution, and this lead to health issues to younger whose immune system is in development stage. On the other side, people may not willing to move to country side because leading life in cities makes luxurious and accessible to great infrastructure, and development in cities far better than rural areas. So it's less likely to move to rural areas. Moreover, the government could bring some potential development on countryside to attract middle class family. Nevertheless, people will motivate with efficient initiatives from the authority and come forward to provide support. In conclusion, there is a plethora of benefits of moving to less populated town rather in cities. In my view, shifting to country side has more benefits over than demerits.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion has increased
rapidly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of reducing the transportation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the option of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shifting
to village to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In the following essay I intend to discuss why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provincial side.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shifting
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side provides more space, which can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for a significant purpose. In turn, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in urban areas will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
As a result
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
decreases
drastically
and pollution can
be controlled
by doing as mentioned.

Although countryside has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns of citizens,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the amenities to encourage them as they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shifting
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side. This way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
could be manageable effective. Staying more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could impact their health due to heavy pollution, and this lead to health issues to younger whose immune system is in development stage.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "will"
willing
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
leading life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
luxurious and accessible to great infrastructure, and development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
far better than rural areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it's less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to rural areas.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential development on countryside to attract middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will motivate with efficient initiatives from the authority and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to provide support.

In conclusion
, there is a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of moving to less populated town
rather
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shifting
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
side has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
over than demerits.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is to encouraging people to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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