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Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serves their purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serves their purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too. 2
The building ordinarily carried out a historic picture of civilization in any society. Some people think that building should be meticulously constructed to serve functionally than it’s good-looking. Other people opine that the building should be made with magnificent pattern. I support the former view. I intend to discuss both viewpoints in the following paragraphs. To begin with, people obtain accommodation as a typically fundamental necessity. A functional building can be met up with that basic necessity. Firstly, people have felt very comfortable living when the building has secured. For example, many customers have to affirm buildings must safe and comfortable for living before they buy it rather than stunning depiction. Moreover, those people have lived in a disaster-prone area undoubtedly they have no consideration about building lavish construction because they knew that the building would demolish by the natural disaster. For instance, Haiti is a place where people do not build any concrete houses because of the catastrophic earthquake. People have built building to practical use and user functions such as a shopping mall are required a wide walkway, adequate emergency exits, a strong lighting system, and so on. People who believe the building should be assembled with delightful architecture. This is because building with wonderful decoration has enormous commercial value. For instance, the "rakken" city had sold all flats with a short time due to their lucrative layout with the obvious operational capacity. Another grave point, building pattern with operation demonstrates equally the traditional value of the devoted next few modern generations. For example, Curzon hall of Dhaka University has used as a science and technology building, but it was used as a court building at the time of the British period. Additionally, the historic traditional building reflects the local people's civilization and tradition. To sum up, building builds with an artistic view or without composition, but function is essential for any building to its operation. The building how way users utilize it can be ensured by the activity. The building can be unused without purpose.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
ordinarily
carried out a historic picture of civilization in any society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should be
meticulously
constructed to serve
Use "(functionally)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
functionally
than it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should
be made
with magnificent pattern. I support the former view. I intend to discuss both viewpoints in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obtain accommodation as a
typically
fundamental necessity. A functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can
be met
up with that basic necessity.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable living when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
has secured.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
affirm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
and comfortable for living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
rather
than stunning depiction.
Moreover
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a disaster-prone area
undoubtedly
they have no consideration about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
lavish construction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they knew that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
would demolish by the natural disaster.
For instance
, Haiti is a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not build any concrete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the catastrophic earthquake.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
to practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and user functions such as a shopping mall
are required
a wide walkway, adequate emergency exits, a strong lighting system, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should
be assembled
with delightful architecture. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with wonderful decoration has enormous commercial value.
For instance
, the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
rakken
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
city had sold all flats with a short time due to their lucrative layout with the obvious operational capacity. Another grave point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
pattern with operation demonstrates
equally
the traditional value of the devoted
next
few modern generations.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Curzon
hall of Dhaka University has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a science and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a court
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
at the time of the British period.
Additionally
, the historic traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
reflects the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's civilization and tradition.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
builds with an artistic view or without composition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
function is essential for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
to its operation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
how way users utilize it can
be ensured
by the activity. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can
be unused
without purpose.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serves their purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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