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Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion? v. 1
Technological advancement is widely spreading across the globe. Meanwhile, many people think technology like artificially intelligent robots will gradually taking-over humans in the workforce. In my opinion, there will be very few jobs for humans to carry out. In the near future, we may see there will not be anything to do for human, especially in workforces. We have seen before how machine took over all the heavy works in industries and constructions. At present, artificially intelligent robots now able to do simple works, like house and commercial space cleaning, cooking, serving, even taking care of babies. For Example, a group of scientist in Japan invented two new robots, one is for cleaning which can clean edge to edge using it dart detection sensors, another one is for cooking which is already passed lab and on-field test and certified by the Japanese government. In the future, many surprises are waiting to show us new robotic inventions to replace human from workforces. However, apart from robotic inventions, we still have faith that not all jobs are replaceable. Many jobs require human workforces, such as face to face consultations, corporate meetings, and mental therapies. For instance, a group of doctors surveyed humans and robots found that humans are more capable and accurate in particular workforces where machines are resulting in errors and inaccurate. Apart from doctors, many people also believe in the same aspect. To conclude, I would like to say, no matter how capable people are, time is not so far to see artificially intelligent robots are becoming most efficient to takeover almost on every job. However, people have to be more accurate and result oriented in jobs to sustain.
Technological advancement is
widely
spreading across the globe. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
technology like
artificially
intelligent robots will
gradually
taking-over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workforce
. In my opinion, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to carry out.

In the near future, we may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there will not be anything to do for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
,
especially
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
. We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
how machine took over all the heavy works in industries and constructions. At present,
artificially
intelligent robots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to do simple works, like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and commercial space cleaning, cooking, serving, even taking care of babies.
For Example
, a group of scientist in Japan invented two new robots, one is for cleaning which can clean edge to edge using it dart detection sensors, another one is for cooking which is already passed lab and on-field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and certified by the Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surprises are waiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us new robotic inventions to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
.

However
, apart from robotic inventions, we
still
have faith that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are replaceable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
, such as face to face consultations, corporate meetings, and mental therapies.
For instance
, a group of doctors surveyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and robots found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are more capable and accurate
in particular
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
where machines are resulting in errors and inaccurate. Apart from doctors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
believe in the same aspect.

To conclude
, I would like to say, no matter how capable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are, time is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
artificially
intelligent robots are becoming most efficient to takeover almost on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more accurate and result oriented in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to sustain.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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