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Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy? v.16

Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy? v. 16
In this modern world, people try to invent so many things. Solar energy is also a result of that. It's very easy to get solar energy by using panels and also its cost effective, so people are more likely to use solar energy than the other energy sources. There are so many advantages of this energy source. The first one is we can get this factor very easily and also people don't need to worry about power cuts done by the government. The second main advantage of this energy source is we can earn money by selling excess energy to the government. This is the main reason why most people like to use this source than the others. On the other hand, by using this energy we reduce pollution. While we are making charcoal energy it releases a lot of smoke and into the air. This is a huge threat to the air around us. Also, we use water to make energy by making dams in rivers. By doing this, most water resources going to be empty. Then we can't maintain our water cycle and the biodiversity. In this competitive world we are trying to invent things that cause less harm to the environment. Because we can't survive without the environment around us. The main advantage of this is we have to pay more money for the solar panels. The people who live in developing countries like Sri Lanka can't spend that much of the money. If these countries can give these panels for an affordable price, this power source will become more popular in the world than now.
In this modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to invent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
also
a result of that. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
by using panels and
also
its cost effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
than the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
. The
first
one is we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't need to worry about power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
done by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The second main advantage of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
is we can earn money by selling excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This is the main reason why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
than the others.

On the other hand
, by using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution. While we are making charcoal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
it releases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
smoke and into the air. This is a huge threat to
Consider using "the surrounding air".
the air around us
.
Also
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
water to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
by making dams in rivers. By doing this, most water resources going to be empty. Then we can't maintain our water cycle and the biodiversity.

In this competitive world we are trying to invent things that cause less harm to the environment.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
we can't survive without
Consider using "the surrounding environment".
the environment around us
.

The main advantage of this is we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
panels. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like Sri Lanka can't spend that much of the money. If these countries can give these panels for an affordable price, this power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
will become more popular in the world than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy? v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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