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Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v.1

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v. 1
Despite having many health benefits, fewer people prefer walking nowadays. This essay will discuss that the fast-paced lifestyle is the primary reason of this problem, and the most viable solution is to make people aware of the different methods by which they can incorporate walking in their daily life. Nowadays, people want to achieve more in less time, which has made walking less favorite. Even if someone has to travel a few hundred meters, he or she will do it by some vehicle to save time. What is more, other vigorous exercises, such as weightlifting, running, can give the same results in less amount of time, so people prefer them rather than taking a walk. For example, Health and Fitness magazine surveyed its audience about their workout preferences and found that walking was the least favorite because they felt that it takes more time to burn calories as compared to other physical activities. To tackle this problem the government should educate its people about various ways in which they can benefit from walking without spending any extra minute. A publicity campaign can be launched in the media and in schools that explains how a person can take a walk while doing other tasks, such as listening to music or talking on the phone, and how covering short distances by walking is not only good for health but the environment also. Moreover, the advantages of walking over other strenuous exercises should also be discussed as it is much safer and provides complete body workout. For example, Chandigarh is hosting brisk-walking competitions every year for the past three years, which is a fun way to learn about the merits of walking, and the participants have agreed that they have started taking walks more regularly after participating in this event. In conclusion, walking is a healthy activity, but the popular belief that it is time-consuming is the main reason why people are avoiding it, and government can motivate people to include it in their everyday lives by organizing awareness campaigns.
Despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health benefits, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer walking nowadays. This essay will discuss that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced lifestyle is the primary reason of this problem, and the most viable solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods by which they can incorporate walking in their daily life.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to achieve more in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which has made walking less favorite. Even if someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
travel a few hundred meters, he or she will do it by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vehicle to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
vigorous exercises, such as weightlifting, running, can give the same results in less amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer them
rather
than taking a walk.
For example
, Health and Fitness magazine surveyed its audience about their workout preferences and found that walking was the least favorite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they felt that it takes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to burn calories as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
physical activities.

To tackle this problem the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about various ways in which they can benefit from walking without spending any extra minute. A publicity campaign can
be launched
in the media and in schools that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
how a person can take a walk while doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tasks, such as listening to music or talking on the phone, and how covering short distances by walking is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the environment
also
.
Moreover
, the advantages of walking over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
strenuous exercises should
also
be discussed
as it is much safer and provides complete body workout.
For example
, Chandigarh is hosting brisk-walking competitions every year for the past three years, which is a fun way to learn about the merits of walking, and the participants have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking walks more
regularly
after participating in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In conclusion
, walking is a healthy activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the popular belief that it is time-consuming is the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are avoiding it, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to include it in their everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by organizing awareness campaigns.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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