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Societies benefit from the closer relationship we have with foreigners through international tourism and business. v.4

Societies benefit from the closer relationship we have with foreigners through international tourism and business. v. 4
A society is an amalgamation of different people with different cultures. The impact on a society depends on the influence of various people with different cultures. Societies have a bigger impact with the effect of foreign investments and tourism, foreign businesses being globalisation involves businesses from different foreign countries to be established in different parts of the world. Setting up of a native firm in another country creates an atmosphere of sharing; the sharing of businesses involving manufacturing units in other parts provides opportunities to various people in a society. For instance, people coming in other countries due to globalisation directly impact their culture by the way of their lives and lifestyle. Due to globalisation people would have options to choose wide verities of products they need. If we consider the impact of globalisation, people in one country have the choice to taste other products of another world, this way globalisation helps in having a diversified culture in a society. Secondly, the impact of the relationship with international tourism if elucidated can have a wide role in the society too, tourism makes different people of different cultures to different areas. The people in the tourism-dominated areas are definitely affected by the lifestyle of the foreigners, the people in tourism-dominated areas try to imitate and follow the lifestyle and they also try to learn the languages spoken by them. For example, people living in a tourism-dominated area like Kerala in India, people can understand English and are conversant with the language, this is mainly due to the influence of tourism in that area. To conclude it is my strong opinion that societies benefit from the relationship with international businesses and tourism but the benefit should be limited to the transposition of good aspects.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is an amalgamation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
depends on the influence of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Societies
have a bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
with the effect of foreign investments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
being
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
be established
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the world.

Setting up of a native firm in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
creates an atmosphere of sharing; the sharing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
involving manufacturing units in other parts provides opportunities to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by the way of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and lifestyle. Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have options to choose wide verities of products they need. If we consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have the choice to taste other products of another world, this way
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in having a diversified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in a society.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of the relationship with international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
if elucidated can have a wide role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
too,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the tourism-dominated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the lifestyle of the foreigners, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in tourism-dominated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
try to imitate and follow the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they
also
try to learn the languages spoken by them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a tourism-dominated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
like Kerala in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand English and are conversant with the language, this is
mainly
due to the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in that area.

To conclude
it is my strong opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
benefit from the relationship with international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefit should
be limited
to the transposition of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
aspects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Societies benefit from the closer relationship we have with foreigners through international tourism and business. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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