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Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree? v.5

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. v. 5
Since the introduction of social media applications the world has become a much smaller place. Social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have turned into an advertising sources for the majority of the global market firms to trade their products. As such, I would agree that marketing on these platforms will influence the consumers in a great way while choosing a product. Firstly, As a user of social media, you are constantly bombarded with advertisements of various products that are specifically designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren’t random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something currently popular or trending. Given the fact that most social media users are young consumers who are influenced by current trends and happenings these adverts will almost always catch their eye. Even few adverts are providing discounts to get the attention of the user for their product. Secondly, The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking also ensures that these adverts get around, quite fast. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already probably seen it on your friend’s news feed. For example, If we have to buy a product in a showroom our eye will get attracted to what we are familiar in the past, so we obviously attracted towards the products which we are familiar with the social media in the form of popups. To conclude, The truth is, adverts are a form of information and with the age of the internet, information spreads faster than a wildfire. Therefore, it only makes sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy, social media marketing can influence what consumers buy.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications the world has become a much smaller place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have turned into an advertising sources for the majority of the global market firms to trade their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As such, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that marketing on these platforms will influence the consumers
Consider replacing "in a great way" with the adverb for "great"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a great way
while choosing a product.

Firstly
, As a user of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, you are
constantly
bombarded with advertisements of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are
specifically
designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren’t random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something
currently
popular or trending.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users are young consumers who
are influenced
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trends and happenings these adverts will almost always catch their eye. Even few adverts are providing discounts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention of the user for their product.

Secondly
, The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking
also
ensures that these adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around, quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it on your friend’s news feed.
For example
, If we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in a showroom our eye will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to what we are familiar in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
obviously
attracted towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which we are familiar with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the form of popups.

To conclude
, The truth is, adverts are a form of information and with the age of the internet, information spreads faster than a wildfire.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
marketing can influence what consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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