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Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree v.1

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. 1
The communication of messages through social networking sites is fast and it is having a convincing impact on the youth. Many companies are using this mode to promote their goods and to fascinate customers. I partially agree with the fact that social media persuade a user shopping for new articles, but some part of the old generation is reluctant in buying products being publicized online. This essay will discuss both the views of different types of users. Social media sites convince people in many ways. The First and the foremost, the method used is recurring promotions. The multinational companies put their banners on every networking site, and the online posters are shown again and again whenever we are accessing these platforms. Such strategies encourage youngsters to try those items once. For instance, while browsing through Facebook. com and YouTube videos, we come across many advertising videos after every two to five Minutes, which makes us, browse through the merchandiser website and check out their catalogues. Moreover, the main target audience of the sales team is youth and they are very keen to follow new trends and wants to be always updated. Such approaches are used by various organizations to make an individual buy a certain good. On the other hand, elder persons don't adapt to any new change easily; thus, most of them prefer to buy things from their long-known shopkeeper instead of buying an online marketed product. To recapitulate, social media marketing sites manipulate folks to a much greater extent in the context of buying goods. In my point of view, everyone should buy a product which is relevant to his requirement rather than being influenced by sites; however, older people should also use the advertisements to update themselves with the latest technology and competitive prices.
The communication of messages through social networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and it is having a convincing impact on the youth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using this mode to promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and to fascinate customers. I
partially
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
social media persuade a user shopping for new articles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation is reluctant in buying products
being publicized
online. This essay will discuss both the views of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of users.

Social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
convince
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. The
First
and the foremost, the method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
is recurring promotions. The multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
put their banners on every networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
, and the online posters
are shown
again and again whenever we are accessing these platforms. Such strategies encourage youngsters to try those items once.
For instance
, while browsing through Facebook.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
and YouTube videos, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertising videos after every two to five Minutes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us, browse through the merchandiser website and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out their
Possible spelling mistake. 'catalogues' is British English.
catalogues
.
Moreover
, the main target audience of the sales team is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youth and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen to follow new trends and wants to be always updated. Such approaches are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by various organizations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

On the other hand
, elder persons don't adapt to any new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
easily
;
thus
, most of them prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things from their long-known shopkeeper
instead
of buying an online marketed product.

To recapitulate, social media marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
manipulate folks to a much greater extent in the context of buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. In my point of view, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a product which is relevant to his requirement
rather
than
being influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
;
however
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the advertisements to update themselves with the latest technology and competitive prices.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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