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It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this What are some solutions to address this issue v.2

It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this What are some solutions to address this issue v. 2
With the fast growing industrialization, people are under a burden of work, hence, stress is mushrooming day to day in their lives. I will locate the reason for this and will provide solutions for it in the subsequent paragraphs. The major reason for this is the overload of work at working places. To explain, employers tend to give more projects to employees to enhance the productivity of their staff. Another reason is the problem of family matters, such as the break up of the relationship and education of their love ones, therefore, in order to fulfil the demands of a family they start thinking about management of money which leads them to under depression. For example, according to a study, 23 percent of youth lives a stressful life because of money related discussions with the family. Furthermore, to overcome this problem there are several ways. First and foremost, company manager should give work on a daily basis to his staff. Moreover, the bonus should be given to workers to encourage them to complete tasks happily. For example, in China, when a employ makes good efforts in the company to increase demand of material they offers, boss treat him with a gift or bonus. Understanding each others in an effective way can also to retain stress. To conclude, I would say that work should be given manually, so staff could perform well. Moreover, individuals should perform physical activities and yoga to get relief from blood pressure.
With the
fast
growing industrialization,
people
are under a burden of
work
,
hence
,
stress
is mushrooming day to day in their
lives
. I will locate the reason for this and will provide solutions for it in the subsequent paragraphs.

The major reason for this is the overload of
work
at working places. To
explain
, employers tend to give more projects to employees to enhance the productivity of their staff. Another reason is the problem of family matters, such as the break up of the relationship and education of their
love ones
,
therefore
, in order to fulfil the demands of a family they
start
thinking about management of money which leads them to under depression.
For example
, according to a study, 23 percent of youth
lives
a stressful life
because
of money related discussions with the family.

Furthermore
, to overcome this problem there are several ways.
First
and foremost,
company
manager should give
work
on a daily basis to his staff.
Moreover
, the bonus should be
given
to workers to encourage them to complete tasks
happily
.
For example
, in China, when
a
employ
makes
good
efforts in the
company
to increase demand of material they
offers
, boss treat him with a gift or bonus. Understanding each
others
in an effective way
can
also
to retain
stress
.

To conclude
, I would say that
work
should be
given
manually
,
so
staff could perform well.
Moreover
, individuals should perform physical activities and yoga to
get
relief from blood pressure.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this What are some solutions to address this issue v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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