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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media website does have risks. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media website does have risks. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Nowadays, social networking sites have removed distance among all the people of the world, while according to some people, it may become threatening to provide personal data on such websites. In this essay, we will discuss the pros and cos to utilize social media. Looking at the positive side, a majority of the people have an account on social networking sites such as the Facebook and Twitter, so they can easily search their near and dear ones on that and can contact them online. In other words, it has hiked the social connectivity by uploading personal details on those websites, which allow people to see our profile and can communicate with each other. For example, after meeting on Facebook, many people fall in love and get married to spend their whole life together. On the other hand, regarding the negative points, people may misuse the other' s details from social media and can cheat them for their prospect. Besides, we read many cases on the newspaper that terrorist organization such as ISIS have a fake account based on females to trap the soldiers for getting significant defence related data which leads to terrible terrorist activities in many countries. Apart from this, numerous updates on social media related to various issues like Casteism broadcasted by some people may result in riots in the community. In conclusion, though social media has many drawbacks, we can not overlook its advantages and with technology and social awareness, we can secure our profile on social media.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites have removed distance among all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the world, while according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it may become threatening to provide personal data on such websites. In this essay, we will discuss the pros and cos to utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an account on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites such as the Facebook and Twitter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
search their near and dear ones on that and can contact them online. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it has hiked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
connectivity by uploading personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on those websites, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
our profile and can communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, after meeting on Facebook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married to spend their whole life together.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may misuse the
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and can cheat them for their prospect.
Besides
, we read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases on the newspaper that terrorist organization such as ISIS have a fake account based on females to trap the soldiers for getting significant
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
related data which leads to terrible terrorist activities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Apart from this, numerous updates on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
related to various issues like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Casteism
broadcasted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may result in riots in the community.

In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks, we can not overlook its advantages and with technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awareness, we can secure our profile on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media website does have risks. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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