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Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and to follow news and events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and to follow news and events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is true that advanced technology has changed dramatically to our usage of communication. However, some people believe that there has drawbacks compared to the advantages of modern ways. This essay will examine the pros and cons with my own opinion. On the one hand, there are demerits associated with modern methods that should not be ignored. Firstly, the social media has a chance to deliver wrong information. It is because there are lots of undefined data on the internet, and this could cause that users sometimes share wrong news. For example, South Korea has a case in which the person who caused the car accident falsely reported the victim and the person who caused the accident. Secondly, traditional methods such as TV or newspaper is having a high range of services. Moreover, visual and audio factors can be used for advertisements efficiently. On the flip side, I strongly believe that there are lots of the advantages of social media. Primarily, social media is faster than traditional ways. It is because they are internet bases, which means wireless, and also it can be easily to access everyone or everywhere. In addition, this situation can communicate with international friends. For instance, I have an international friend who lives in Canada, I almost every day keeps in touch with him. Lastly, there are more useful in society. This is because traditional methods such as letters or newspapers are required time-consuming and manpower. In conclusion, although there are several disadvantages of usage of social media rather than earlier ways, I fully think that social media have lots of merits.
It is true that advanced technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
to our usage of communication.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there has drawbacks compared to the advantages of modern ways. This essay will examine the pros and cons with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand, there are demerits associated with modern methods that should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a chance to deliver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots of undefined data on the internet, and this could cause that users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
news.
For example
, South Korea has a case in which the person who caused the car accident
falsely
reported the victim and the person who caused the accident.
Secondly
, traditional methods such as TV or newspaper is having a high range of services.
Moreover
, visual and audio factors can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for advertisements
efficiently
.

On the flip side, I
strongly
believe that there are lots of the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Primarily
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is faster than traditional ways. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are internet bases, which means wireless, and
also
it can be
easily
to access everyone or everywhere.
In addition
, this situation can communicate with international friends.
For instance
, I have an international friend who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Canada, I almost every day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
in touch with him.
Lastly
, there are more useful in society. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
traditional methods such as letters or newspapers
are required
time-consuming and manpower.

In conclusion
, although there are several disadvantages of usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rather
than earlier ways, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have lots of merits.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and to follow news and events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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