Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Social media has replaced the traditional method of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and follow news and events. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v.2

Social media has replaced the traditional method of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and follow news and events. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 2
Communication in the 21st century has changed compared to what was attainable in previous centuries. Presently, the internet and social networks are seen to be a preferred means for people to interact and connect with news and events around them than the traditional way of communicating. In my opinion, I believe that the gains and benefits of social networks far supersede the drawbacks and should be encouraged. The use of phones and other modern devices has made interaction easy in today’s world. To expatiate, social media has been able to connect people in few seconds irrespective of where they are around the globe. Through this means, families can reach out to their loved ones in other locations thereby, reducing the impact of their absence. Furthermore, with social applications like WhatsApp and telegram, lots of people can connect, share information and get updates on events and happenings around their world. Consequently, this helps the society stay informed even without having to be present at a scene. For instance, through the internet, students can interact with their colleagues at their convenience, get information and materials online and be up to date in their classwork. Nonetheless, some other people think that the traditional way of communicating through letters keeps information private and secured. They assert that the internet and social media can be porous to internet fraudsters and hackers therefore, making communication through these means unsafe. In other words, writing of letters and posting through couriers or post office keeps the information personal to only the recipient. While this may seem true, with the appropriate measures, communication through social networks can be safe. A good example is the use of antivirus and passwords which helps protect information. In addition, social network providers are constantly seeking ways to protect information shared from fraudster and hackers and I believe in no time, this will be a thing of the past. In conclusion, social media has changed the way we think and interact amongst ourselves today. Though it may be faced with hacking and virus threats, I believe the benefits people get from using these media far overrides the problems and should therefore be embraced
Communication in the 21st century has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
compared to what was attainable in previous centuries.
Presently
, the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be a preferred
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "mean"?
means
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact and connect with news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
around them than the traditional way of communicating. In my opinion, I believe that the gains and benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
far supersede the drawbacks and should
be encouraged
.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of phones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
modern devices has made interaction easy in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. To expatiate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been able to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in few seconds irrespective of where they are around the globe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Through
this means, families can reach out to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
locations thereby, reducing the impact of their absence.

Furthermore
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
applications like WhatsApp and telegram, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect, share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updates on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and happenings around their world.
Consequently
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the society stay informed even without having to be present at a scene.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the internet, students can interact with their colleagues at their convenience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and materials online and be up to date in their classwork.

Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the traditional way of communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
letters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
private and secured. They assert that the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be porous to internet fraudsters and hackers
therefore
, making communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
these means unsafe. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, writing of letters and posting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
couriers or post office
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
personal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the recipient. While this may seem true, with the appropriate measures, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
can be safe. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of antivirus and passwords which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
providers are
constantly
seeking ways to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
shared from fraudster and hackers and I believe in no time, this will be a thing of the past.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and interact amongst ourselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Though it may
be faced
with hacking and virus threats, I believe the benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
far overrides the problems and should
therefore
be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
embraced
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media has replaced the traditional method of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and follow news and events. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts