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Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. v. 1
Currently we live in a globalized world, it is easy to journey around the world, many people decided to travel in a group with tour guide because they believe that it is the best way to travel. In my view, I strongly disagree with this opinion. The main reason that tour group is not the best travelling style is no freedom to sightsee. For example, every trip has a schedule that tourist need to follow, even if you do not want to go. Furthermore, the group always strictly on time and waste time for waiting because there are many people that difficult to control time. In addition, you do not know how to use public transport in that country because a tour group always use the bus for their vehicle. Another reason is tour group always take you to the highlight spot which is crowded and no local people. Thus, you cannot learn a new culture from local's every day life. Moreover, you do not have a skill to survive in a real situation since you always ask a tour leader. For instance, when you want to know about new stories, you just ask the leader instead of finding it you yourself. Besides, you do not have the opportunity to make new friends from other countries. In conclusion, travelling with a tour group is not the best choice to select. It will make you miss some detail of travel and you cannot learn the real tradition. So, you need to consider when you have a plan to travel.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a globalized world, it is easy to journey around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
guide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that it is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. In my view, I
strongly
disagree with this opinion.

The main reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is not the best travelling style is no freedom to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sightsee
.
For example
, every trip has a schedule that tourist need to follow, even if you do not want to go.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
always
strictly
on time and waste time for waiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that difficult to control time.
In addition
, you do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport in that country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bus for their vehicle.

Another reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
always take you to the highlight spot which
is crowded
and no local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, you cannot learn a new culture from local's every day life.
Moreover
, you do not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to survive in a real situation since you always ask a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
leader.
For instance
, when you want to know about new stories, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ask the leader
instead
of finding it you yourself.
Besides
, you do not have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends from other countries.

In conclusion
, travelling with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is not the best choice to select. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detail of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and you cannot learn the real tradition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, you need to consider when you have a plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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