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Social media has a negative impact on society To what extent do you agree. v.1

Social media has a negative impact on society v. 1
The drawback of social media is a debatable topic. While some believe social media is merely for entertainment, others do not. This essay completely agrees with the statement that social media has devastating disadvantages. This essay will discuss the psychological impacts on individuals and society as a whole. The effect social media has on an individuals psyche cannot be ignored. Social Media has an extremely high demand for perfection. To add, individuals feel the need to always be in tip-top shape on applications such as Instagram. Furthermore, in reality, no one is perfect, we all have unique flaws that make us who we are. This constant need to look appealing to others is very detrimental to one's psychological health. For example, studies have shown "overuse of social media is directly linked with depressive disorders of the mind". In today's society, social media has taken over peoples " real" social experiences, we are faced with a zombie population, living inside of their phones. Moreover, casual conversations such as the ones at restaurants are now very outdated as people are too busy scrolling through their phones. We as a society have forgotten how to communicate physically. We are to preoccupied on our devices to see and interact with what is in front of us. I believe this is very dangerous behavior, as human beings our progression as a species sits on our ability to recognize and interact with our environment. For example, in my personal experience, I have noticed that a lot of my peers have developed a serious time-consuming obsession with social media. Which as a result has caused them social anxiety the second they put their phones down to engage in a real concersayoon. To conclude, I believe social media has destroyed a huge portion of our personalities. In addition, not only has it numbed our uniqueness as individuals but it has paralyzed society altogether. The psycho-social impact of social networking is an issue that needs serious contemplation and urgent resolution.
The drawback of
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a debatable topic. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
merely
for entertainment, others do not. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has devastating disadvantages. This essay will discuss the psychological impacts on
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individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole.

The effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
psyche cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
has an
extremely
high demand for perfection. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
feel the need to always be in tip-top shape on applications such as Instagram.
Furthermore
, in reality, no one is perfect, we all have unique flaws that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us who we are. This constant need to look appealing to others is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental to one's psychological health.
For example
, studies have shown
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
directly
linked with depressive disorders of the mind
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has taken over peoples
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
real
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
experiences, we
are faced
with a zombie population, living
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "inside".
inside of
their phones.
Moreover
, casual conversations such as the ones at restaurants are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
outdated as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are too busy scrolling through their phones. We as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have forgotten how to communicate
physically
. We are
Did you mean "too"?
to
preoccupied on our devices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and interact with what is in front of us. I believe this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
behavior, as human beings our progression as a species sits on our ability to recognize and interact with our environment.
For example
, in my personal experience, I have noticed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
my peers have developed a serious time-consuming obsession with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
as a result
has caused them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
anxiety the second they put their phones down to engage in a real
Possible spelling mistake found.
concersayoon
.

To conclude
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
a huge portion of our personalities.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has it numbed our uniqueness as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has paralyzed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
altogether. The psycho-social impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking is an issue that needs serious contemplation and urgent resolution.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Social media has a negative impact on society v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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