Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Smoking not only harms the smoker but also those who are nearby Therefore smoking should be banned in public places To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Smoking not only harms the smoker but also those who are nearby Therefore smoking should be banned in public places v. 2
Not only people who smoke suffer from many deadly diseases, but the people surround also get impacted from that smoke. This is the reason that many people say that smoking should be banned on public places. I am in compete accord with this statement and believe that if government is not able to persuade people to leave smoking habit then at least they should be prohibited on public places. To begin, smoking is a dangerously bad habit which leads to number of lethal diseases like lung cancer, mouth cancer and many more. The chemicals in tobacco damage airways of lungs, blood cells and alo weaken the immune system towards infections. Its impact is not visible overnight, but with passage of time it causes serious harm for person’s health and in long run it can make person suffer tremendously from the pain it may give. Furthermore, it has been universally proved that passive smoking is more dangerous and can cause more harm to the person’s health. In this way, the people who do not smoke but because they inhale smoke owing to someone smoking nearby get affected by it. For example, one of my friend is suffering from lung cancer, although he never did smoking. This is because of his father, who is habitual to smoke in their house every day. Owing to harmful impact on other people, smoking should be banned on public places and there should be separate places for smokers to smoke. This problem has been realized by many organizations like IT companies as they offer separate smoking area to their employees who smoke, so that other employees will not suffer. To conclude, smoking is a habit which is really difficult to leave, hence, government should ensure that owing to smokers, at least general public should not be affected adversely. Hence, smoking on public places should be prohibited and any guilty should be dealt with iron hands.
Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deadly diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surround
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
impacted from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
. This is the reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be banned
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I am in compete accord with this statement and believe that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not able to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habit then at least they should
be prohibited
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a
dangerously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit which leads to number of lethal diseases like lung cancer, mouth cancer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. The chemicals in tobacco damage airways of lungs, blood cells and
Possible spelling mistake found.
alo
weaken the immune system towards infections. Its impact is not visible overnight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with passage of time it causes serious harm for person’s health and in long run it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
person suffer
tremendously
from the pain it may give.

Furthermore
, it has been
universally
proved that passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and can cause more harm to the person’s health. In this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they inhale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
owing to someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "smokes", "smoked".
smoking
nearby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it.
For example
, one of my friend is suffering from lung cancer, although he never did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his father,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is habitual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
every day. Owing to harmful impact on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be banned
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and there should be separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for smokers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
. This problem has
been realized
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations like IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as they offer separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
area to their employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other employees will not suffer.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a habit which is
really
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
,
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ensure that owing to smokers, at least general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should
be prohibited
and any guilty should
be dealt
with iron hands.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker but also those who are nearby Therefore smoking should be banned in public places v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts