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Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. v. 5
Economically rich nations prefer to outsource their work to skilled workers of poorer nations to increase their profit margin. Even though developing nations require their people to help them develop as a nation, allowing other countries to appoint their workforce is felt as a greater benefit to the host in terms of economic and educational advancement. This essay shall analyse how employment by foreign companies is beneficial for the overall growth of developing nation. Firstly, when developed empire outsources their work, the demand for labour increased in underdeveloped states, which leads to other advancements such as education. For example, by the late twentieth century, the influx of software related work from the United States to the Indian market consequently resulted in equal growth in the Indian tech-related educational institutions. This example clearly demonstrates the positive impact of foreign labour concept. This means, if poorer nations make their skilled labour available for hire to the world, they also develop their national infrastructure, educational colleges for instance. Secondly, this trend of working in international companies would increase the economy graph of the poor nation. Let us take the above example of the United States offering a great deal of employment to Indian labour. Majority of candidates working in these institutions, would keep their earned income in Indian banks or invest in host country only, this would boost the overall economy of poor sates. As per recent report submitted by XYZ, a major chunk of money in the Indian banks is contributed by the employees working in foreign corporates. As far as the requirement of a workforce by poor country is a concern, there are masses which are unemployed and need to put on work. Therefore, the government should work in transforming unskilled masses to skilled, by providing better education and job opportunities. This would solve the issue of both skilled and unskilled population while enjoying the above-discussed benefits at the same time. To conclude, meeting the demand of foreign projects would be beneficial for developing countries overall growth in the field of learning and finances, without any detrimental effects.
Economically
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
prefer to outsource their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
workers of poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to increase their profit margin.
Even though
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
require their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, allowing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to appoint their workforce
is felt
as a greater benefit to the host in terms of economic and educational advancement. This essay shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
how employment by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is beneficial for the
overall
growth of developing nation.

Firstly
, when developed empire outsources their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the demand for
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
increased in underdeveloped states, which leads to other advancements such as education.
For example
, by the late twentieth century, the influx of software related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from the United States to the Indian market
consequently
resulted in equal growth in the Indian tech-related educational institutions. This example
clearly
demonstrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
concept. This means, if poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
available for hire to the world, they
also
develop their national infrastructure, educational colleges
for instance
.

Secondly
, this trend of working in international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would increase the economy graph of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take the above example of the United States offering a great deal of employment to Indian
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. Majority of candidates working in these institutions, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their earned income in Indian banks or invest in host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, this would boost the
overall
economy of poor sates. As per recent report submitted by XYZ, a major chunk of money in the Indian banks
is contributed
by the employees working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
.

As far as the requirement of a workforce by poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a concern, there are masses which
are unemployed
and need to put on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in transforming unskilled masses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
, by providing better education and job opportunities. This would solve the issue of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
and unskilled population while enjoying the above-discussed benefits at the same time.

To conclude
, meeting the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
projects would be beneficial for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
overall
growth in the field of learning and finances, without any detrimental effects.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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