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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. Do you agree or disagree? v.8

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 8
Smoking is harmful to the smoker and others around him or her. Some individuals hold the opinion that it is necessary to forbid smoking in public places. This essay agrees with this view because firstly, it is a fundimental way to save the cost for the public health and secondly, it is an ideal strategy to protect minors. This point could decrease the cost of public health. Cigarettes do harm to an individual smoker and people around, especially for their lungs and throats. Many patents get deseases because of the tobacco. In other work, the cigarette is a kind of drug and brings a lot of unhealth effects on people who intakes the fog. These patents have to be cured in hospital and the related cost is generally very expensive, such as the treatment for lung cancer. This will cause the huge financial burden for the public health budget. Instead, if the authorities could ban smokers smoke in public places, which will decrease the disadvantage of cigarettes to the public significantly so that save a large amount of capital for the public health. In addition, this viewpoint is an reasonable way to protect children and teenagers. Someone could argue that the tobacco can help workers to release the huge pressure, and calm them down when they are stressful. However, this merit is only for a person. As for the public, the fog does not have any advantage for them. In particular, it causes many negative effects on minors physically and mentally. For example, necodin is a part of elements to kill bugs and it will stop the growth of the children, and adolscents would like to imitate adults and smoking in public area will motivate them to acquire this bad behaviour potentially. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view of forbidden smoking in public area, because it contributes to save the funds for the public health and it is a feasible method to protect kids and teenagers. It will be interesting to see such policy to be imposed in some states in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is harmful to the smoker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
around him or her.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals hold the opinion that it is necessary to forbid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
firstly
, it is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundimental
way to save the cost for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
secondly
, it is an ideal strategy to protect minors.

This point could decrease the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Cigarettes do harm to an individual smoker and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around,
especially
for their lungs and throats.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
patents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
deseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the tobacco. In other work, the cigarette is a kind of drug and brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unhealth
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who intakes the fog. These patents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be cured
in hospital and the related cost is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, such as the treatment for lung cancer. This will cause the huge financial burden for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget.
Instead
, if the authorities could ban smokers smoke in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places, which will decrease the disadvantage of cigarettes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that save a large amount of capital for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health.

In addition
, this viewpoint is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
reasonable way to protect children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Someone could argue that the tobacco can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
workers to release the huge pressure, and calm them down when they are stressful.
However
, this merit is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a person. As for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, the fog does not have any advantage for them.
In particular
, it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on minors
physically
and mentally.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
necodin
is a part of elements to kill bugs and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the growth of the children, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolscents
would like to imitate adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
area will motivate them to acquire this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
potentially
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view of forbidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contributes to save the funds for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and it is a feasible method to protect kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It will be interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
such policy to
be imposed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
states in the future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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