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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.11

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 11
Smoking causes adverse effects to smokers and to nearby people. There are many cases observed across the globe, where passive smokers are undergoing severe illness as smokers. I strongly agree that smoking must be restricted in public areas. This essay will describe the impacts of smoking on the environment and to the people around. Admittedly, smoking is a highly influential habit across people of all ages. Many countries have age restrictions to buy cigarettes. For example, USA and Canada have imposed 21 year age limit and sellers must check buyers' identity cards to verify their age. Despite such measures, under aged people are still buying through friends. They seem to smoke in public places, especially outside the stores and car parking lots. Some of the retail outlets like Walmart and Costco have large parking lots where many smokers can be found. Moreover, they throw the buds on the grounds and apparently litter the environment. On the other hand, there are many alternatives to cigarette which can be found in regular convenient stores. Some of them includes vapours and electronic cigarette, which is less harmful to consumers. Chain smokers can use them to suppress their addiction. However, none of them should be permitted at nearby shops, buildings, schools, hospitals and other public areas. Some countries have very serious punishments for the offenders. For example, UAE doesn't even sell liquors and any form of tobacco anywhere in their country and those who found violating the law has been punished through jail sentences. To conclude, smokers should consider near by people in mind before they start smoking and should obey government laws and regulations. Many stores sell cigarettes' in loose and in such cases, the government can impose strict guidelines to sellers about sale timings and other aspects through which they can bring down public smoking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
causes adverse effects to smokers and to nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases observed across the globe, where passive smokers are undergoing severe illness as smokers. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be restricted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on the environment and to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a
highly
influential habit across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restrictions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cigarettes.
For example
, USA and Canada have imposed 21 year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit and sellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
buyers' identity cards to verify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Despite such measures, under aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
buying through friends. They seem to smoke in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places,
especially
outside the stores and car parking lots.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
retail outlets like Walmart and Costco have large parking lots where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
smokers can
be found
.
Moreover
, they throw the buds on the grounds and
apparently
litter the environment.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternatives to cigarette which can
be found
in regular convenient stores.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them includes
Possible spelling mistake. 'vapours' is British English.
vapours
and electronic cigarette, which is less harmful to consumers. Chain smokers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to suppress their addiction.
However
, none of them should
be permitted
at nearby shops, buildings, schools, hospitals and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious punishments for the offenders.
For example
, UAE doesn't even sell liquors and any form of tobacco anywhere in their country and those who found violating the law has
been punished
through jail sentences.

To conclude
, smokers should consider
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and should obey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
laws and regulations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
stores sell cigarettes' in loose and in such cases, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can impose strict guidelines to sellers about sale timings and other aspects through which they can bring down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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