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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.187

Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 187
It has become a craze of having an international education among the younger generation. A number of folks go to foreign nations for further studies. According to my opinion, people preferred to do this is because of the numerous negative effect present in the nation and the benefits of going abroad are more than staying in the motherland. Firstly, this essay will discuss the prime reason of going international for the studies and secondly, discuss the cause of my supportive action with the above notion. Firstly, the major reason behind this present craze is the better lifestyle and higher chance of getting excellent pay for the work which is not available in one's nation. This would make them independent of the earlier and support their family financially well. Therefor, to give a better life for the family, individual choose to sacrifice their current enjoyment. For example, As per the immigration data of the USA, 70% of the immigrants are happy and said that they have the best job and hence, they are living high quality life. Secondly, if I would get a chance, definitely I would go because it is my dream to be at higher place around the globe and after going abroad, I will get a chance to explore the working system and the rules of the country. Thus, once I gather all the necessary information, I could able to modify myself accordingly. This would result in ending up being at the top among the competitive people. Nevertheless, I will go back to his motherland to help the needy civilian but after making enough money. In conclusion, international degree indeed has prestigious value around the globe. But, one should never negotiate their backbone nation as it is the one who gave the identity to them.
It has become a craze of having an international education among the younger generation. A number of folks go to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
for
further
studies. According to my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preferred to do this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect present in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and the benefits of going abroad are more than staying in the motherland.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the prime reason of going international for the studies and
secondly
, discuss the cause of my supportive action with the above notion.

Firstly
, the major reason behind this present craze is the better lifestyle and higher chance of getting excellent pay for the work which is not available in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them independent of the earlier and support their family
financially
well. Therefor, to give a better life for the family, individual choose to sacrifice their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
enjoyment.
For example
, As per the immigration data of the USA, 70% of the immigrants are happy and said that they have the best job and
hence
, they are living high quality life.

Secondly
, if I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance, definitely I would go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is my dream to be at higher place around the globe and after going abroad, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to explore the working system and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the country.
Thus
, once I gather all the necessary information, I
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
to modify myself
accordingly
. This would result in ending up being at the top among the competitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Nevertheless
, I will go back to his motherland to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the needy civilian
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money.

In conclusion
, international degree
indeed
has prestigious value around the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, one should never negotiate their backbone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as it is the one who gave the identity to them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 187

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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