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Since Most Information About Culture And History Can Be Found On The Internet, Museums Are No Longer Needed

Since most information about culture and history can be found on the internet, museum are not needed anymore. v. 2
Museums are often considered as a beautiful reflection of a country’s glorious past. As the internet can provide a gigantic treasure of information about a nation‘s history and culture, museums are being tagged as unnecessary these days. I do not agree with this view. In my opinion, museums should be preserved as a sign of heritage since data on the internet cannot match the true essence of actual visual experience. To begin with, art galleries and museums house the cultural and traditional assets of any nation. Some of these are in the shape of sculptures; some are in the form of paintings. Several museums have preserved ancient things which are a sign of pride and prestige for the nation and its citizen. The information provided on the internet does not create the same amount of curiosity and inquisitiveness among people as the actual visualisation of these things at the museum. Therefore, rather than sidelining the requirement of conserving museums, these must be refurbished to garner the attention of maximum people. Concomitantly, museums are places of tourist attraction. These places fascinate locals as well as foreign tourists alike. Although museums have nominal entry fees, still it contributes to the revenue of a nation, eventually, giving an economic boost to a country. This will be affected if people are encouraged to view information about culture and history online. In addition to that, information on the internet can sometimes be dubious as there are a number of unauthentic sites and it becomes tough to keep a check on what is being uploaded online. Any incorrect story can seriously impact the country’s reputation; hence, efforts must be made to save the integrity of museums. To conclude, a nation’s historical and cultural treasures abound in museums and art galleries; therefore, these must be maintained and any knowledge available online should be only for reference purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
reflection of a country’s glorious past. As the internet can provide a gigantic treasure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation‘s
history and culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
being tagged
as unnecessary these days. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should
be preserved
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of heritage since data on the internet cannot match the true essence of actual visual experience. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, art galleries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
the cultural and traditional assets of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these are in the shape of sculptures;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are in the form of paintings. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have preserved ancient things which are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of pride and prestige for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and its citizen. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided on the internet does not create the same amount of curiosity and inquisitiveness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as the actual
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualisation' is British English.
visualisation
of these things at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Therefore
,
rather
than sidelining the requirement of conserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be refurbished
to garner the attention of maximum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Concomitantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are places of tourist attraction. These places fascinate locals
as well
as foreign tourists alike. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have nominal entry fees,
still
it contributes to the revenue of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
eventually
, giving an economic boost to a country. This will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are encouraged
to view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about culture and history online.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be dubious as there are a number of unauthentic sites and it becomes tough to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on what is
being uploaded
online. Any incorrect story can
seriously
impact the country’s reputation;
hence
, efforts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
to save the integrity of museums.

To conclude
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
historical and cultural treasures abound in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and art galleries;
therefore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be maintained
and any knowledge available online should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for reference purposes.
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IELTS essay Since Most Information About Culture And History Can Be Found On The Internet, Museums Are No Longer Needed

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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