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Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 5
It is considered by some that following older peoples' opinions are best for young people. However, others say that this ought to be changed. There are both reasons for this and In my own perspective, I believed that it is best for young people to challenge the traditions of the elderly generation. On the one hand, there is a reason why some people think that older peoples' thoughts are correct. This is because their ideas are based on experiences. Since some of those have been already effective, some people believe that these should be continued and that youngsters ought to follow this path. For instance, the use of herbal medicines to treat coughs and colds has been used by elderly since time immemorial and shows effectiveness for some. Hence, some people say that older people's way is best to be adapted by young ones. On the other hand, there are also those who argue that old traditions should be changed, and I agree. Due to the fast pace of today's life, everything has changed, including treatments, according to others. For example, the use of herbal medicines to cure patients are now seen as ineffective because nowadays, diseases are getting stronger and the people likewise need stronger medicines to fight these diseases. Utilization of a variety of medicines in the market is regarded as more efficacious than herbal medication. Thus, I believe with others that changing old trait should be done. In conclusion, people vary in opinions, I believe that the conventional way of living of elderly people ought to be modified by young ones due to the fast development of the world.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that following older peoples' opinions are best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, others say that this ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. There are both reasons for this and In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I believed that it is best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to challenge the traditions of the elderly generation.

On the one hand, there is a reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that older peoples' thoughts are correct. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are based
on experiences. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those have been already effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these should
be continued
and that youngsters ought to follow this path.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of herbal medicines to treat coughs and colds has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by elderly since time immemorial and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
effectiveness for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's way is best to
be adapted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
also
those who argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. Due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life, everything has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, including treatments, according to others.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of herbal medicines to cure patients are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as ineffective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, diseases are getting stronger and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
likewise
need stronger medicines to fight these diseases. Utilization of a variety of medicines in the market
is regarded
as more efficacious than herbal medication.
Thus
, I believe with others that changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
trait should
be done
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vary in opinions, I believe that the conventional way of living of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
be modified
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
development of the world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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