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Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. Discuss both the view with your opinion. v.1

Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. v. 1
In this society, some people argue that famous sport men are having natural talents towards their sports and some people, including me argue believe that it is only because of their commitments and hard work they are able to reach good position. The following essay state points to explain both the sides with my opinion. On the one hand, if a child is having an inborn interest in any field, they start showing their eagerness in that particular space from their childhood without getting any motivations. Mostly, they start showcasing the passion after watching the sport on the TV or after seeing elders playing it. At this time, it is the elder's responsibility to identify their talent and create space for children to develop their passion. With natural talents, they can easily start practising and concentration on the sports but to be successful, they have to practise well. For Instance, Indian well-known cricket player, Sachin is the son of famous cricket and he started showing interest from his childhood. Additionally, with dedication and practise, he is able to reach good position. On the other hand, most of the famous sportsmen are not having natural talent in their field. They get their interest in the path by watching or getting motivational comments from the teachers and elders. In these days, most of the schools are having sports as an extra-curriculum activity. While involving in the activity, students get passion towards it. After this, it is the parent's role to find a good trainer to guide them in the area. They have to get a good teacher to explain the person about the sports and how much practise is needed to become expert in the area. Furthermore, it is hard work and the dedication leads the individual to become a prominent person in their sports area. In conclusion, only with natural talents, a person cannot become a well known sport man. It purely depends on, how much effort they have put in the field and how they are viewing it in their life.
In this society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including me argue believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their commitments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work they are able to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
position. The following essay state points to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the sides with my opinion.

On the one hand, if a child is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an inborn interest in any field, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
showing their eagerness in that particular space from their childhood without getting any motivations.
Mostly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
showcasing the passion after watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
on the TV or after seeing elders playing it. At this time, it is the elder's responsibility to identify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and create space for children to develop their passion. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
and concentration on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to be successful, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
well.
For Instance
, Indian well-known cricket player,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
is the son of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cricket and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
showing interest from his childhood.
Additionally
, with dedication and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
, he is able to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
position.

On the other hand
, most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
sportsmen are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in their field. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their interest in the path by watching or getting motivational comments from the teachers and elders. In these days, most of the schools are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as an extra-curriculum activity. While involving in the activity, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
passion towards it. After this, it is the parent's role to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
trainer to guide them in the area. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teacher to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the person about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and how much
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
is needed
to become expert in the area.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and the dedication leads the individual to become a prominent person in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
area.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, a person cannot become a well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. It
purely
depends on, how much effort they have put in the field and how they are viewing it in their life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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