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Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. Discuss both the view with your opinion. v.2

Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. v. 2
Most of the players in the world are born with the distinct talent which drives them to become famous. However, some persons are well known in the nation with their continuous effort and dedication in their respective sport. In this essay, I will be discussing both the points and in my opinion, individuals achieve their heights because of their hard work and rigorous practise. Firstly, there are a few football and cricket sports men they showcased their interest during their childhood. Their body discovered the way of holding the ball or bat without any instructions given by anyone. For example, Sachin Tendulkar, a splendid cricketer who surprised his parents by giving a batting posture at the age of 3. This discovers that there are sports persons who have their inborn talent which guide them to be an impeccable man in the country. Secondly, some persons develop their skills with the guidance they receive from their coaches or tutors. With the daily experiment in the field, they improve their ways of development in their sport. For instance, Virat Kohli, an energetic cricketer is the man who trains hard to increase the level of experience widely in the range of fast bowlers. This results in the growth of the talented sports persons with their progressive dedication and their hard work. In conclusion, there are people who have their skills when they are young and a few become well known with the practise on their play. However, I reiterate that without a proper hard work and guidance nobody can attain a certain level in the sport.
Most of the players in the world
are born
with the distinct talent which drives them to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are well known in the nation with their continuous effort and dedication in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. In this essay, I will be discussing both the points and in my opinion, individuals achieve their heights
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and rigorous
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
.

Firstly
, there are a
Possible agreement error. The noun football seems to be countable; consider using: "few footballs".
few football
and cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
they showcased their interest during their childhood. Their body discovered the way of holding the ball or bat without any instructions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by anyone.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, a splendid cricketer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
surprised his parents by giving a batting posture at the age of 3. This discovers that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have their inborn talent which guide them to be an impeccable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in the country.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with the guidance they receive from their coaches or tutors. With the daily experiment in the field, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ways of development in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
, an energetic cricketer is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
trains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to increase the level of experience
widely
in the range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
bowlers. This results in the growth of the talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
with their progressive dedication and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when they are young and a few become well known with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
on their play.
However
, I reiterate that without a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and guidance nobody can attain a certain level in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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