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Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 1
Some people say that youth should do what exactly the elderly people's experience, while others believe that it's better to think about the old people point of view and then make some new decisions. This essay delves into both sides of the arguments though the writer fully advocates the second one. Life is no longer to gain experiences from all aspects of the real world. Young people at the begging point of their period must take care of yourself and avoid some probable mistakes that they hear or learn from their parents or teachers. They should learn about financial problems and do not waste their money. Youth can get some remarkable experiences about education, work, marriage, and social behavior from their adults. The elderly have valuable opinions about life skills and young people would prevent from potential risks and bad decisions. All in all, this experience is like a gold box for teenagers who want to live better in the future. However, life in all perspectives will change during each decade and youth can have the older people's view and then make some good and modern decisions. For example, by boosting the technology and especially the internet, youth can search something by twinkling an eye and get some new information about all issues such as lifestyles, behavior, finance, COVID 19, and any things that they want. We actually live on the earth that most of the time we face with the new crisis like inflation, weather conditions, economic problems, any health care subjects, and so on. I mean we live in a dynamic world and things have been changed rapidly. In addition, there are some examples in the nature that both father and son were scientists and the father told her son please do not follow my way of thinking, but the son thank about the father's idea and after a while he discovered new outcomes. In conclusion, While listening to the elderly's opinion are really vital, but young people should think about it and decide modern idea.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should do what exactly the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, while others believe that it's better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
point of view and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
decisions. This essay delves into both sides of the arguments though the writer
fully
advocates the second one.

Life is no longer to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
from all aspects of the real world. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the begging point of their period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of yourself and avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
probable mistakes that they hear or learn from their parents or teachers. They should learn about financial problems and do not waste their money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Youth
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
about education, work, marriage, and social behavior from their adults. The elderly have valuable opinions about life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decisions. All in all, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is like a gold box for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better in the future.

However
, life in all perspectives will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
during each decade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
can have the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's view and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and modern decisions.
For example
, by boosting the technology and
especially
the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
can search something by twinkling an eye and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
information about all issues such as lifestyles, behavior, finance,
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
, and any things that they want. We actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on the earth that most of the time we face with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
crisis like inflation, weather conditions, economic problems, any health care subjects, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I mean we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a dynamic world and things have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples in the nature that both father and son were scientists and the father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
her son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
do not follow my way of thinking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the son thank about the father's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and after a while he discovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
outcomes.

In conclusion
, While listening to the elderly's opinion are
really
vital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it and decide modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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