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Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 3
It is a debatable topic for long that whether young adults should follow elders advice or challenge their view. In my opinion, youngsters should follow senior persons to gain knowledge through their experience for a situation and it is perfectly fine to challenge elders on orthodox opinion and thoughts as well. I will shed light on both merits and demerits of condition. On the one hand, young people should follow advice from seniors, as they are treasure of knowledge and wisdom, that has been tested and tried since long. For instance, eating cumin seed help digestion, a trick from grandmother works like wonder for lot of people in India. In fact, medical Science also in search of these tricks that passed from generation to generation to cure few diseases. Thus following the elder worth in few areas. Another reason youngster should listen to seniors is to give respect what they have done as an individual to community. On the other hand, there are enough reasons to challenge to elders view. Firstly, today’s generation live in a high pase and technology driven society, where things can possible in blink of eyes. There is vast difference in the societies where a young person and an elder raised. For example, In India, elder people believe that astrology of a couple should match before marriage. This thought might not be accepted by a young couple who are in love and want to marry irrespective of their astrological state. In summary, elder people should be followed based on their knowledge and situation that they had experience enough to lead the young people for betterment. But situations that affect the new thought and progress can be challenged.
It is a debatable topic for long that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults should follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
advice or challenge their view. In my opinion, youngsters should follow senior persons to gain knowledge through their experience for a situation and it is
perfectly
fine to challenge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
on orthodox opinion and thoughts
as well
. I will shed light on both merits and demerits of condition.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow advice from seniors, as they are treasure of knowledge and wisdom, that has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
and tried since long.
For instance
, eating cumin seed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
digestion, a trick from grandmother works like wonder for
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India. In fact, medical Science
also
in search of these tricks that passed from
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "generation to".
generation to generation to
cure few diseases.
Thus
following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
worth in few areas. Another reason youngster should listen to seniors is to give respect what they have done as an individual to community.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
reasons to challenge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
view.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a high
Possible spelling mistake found.
pase
and technology driven society, where things can possible in blink of eyes. There is vast difference in the societies where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
raised.
For example
, In India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that astrology of a couple should match
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
marriage. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couple who are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and want to marry irrespective of their astrological state.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be followed
based on their knowledge and situation that they had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "experienced".
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for betterment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
situations that affect the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and progress can
be challenged
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Should young people follow older people’s advice or is it good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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