Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Should you people follow older people's example or it's good for them to challenge older people's opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Should you people follow older people's example or it's good for them to challenge older people's opinions and thoughts. v. 1
Many people believe that the young generation should go along with the older generation's story while others think young people have to question the elderly. In this essay, I am going to examine both points of view and then give my own perspective on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue the benefits of following older people's advice considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that aircraft have a captain and a first officer, and the captain always has to 5 or 8years more experience than the lieutenant because in cases of emergency, such as flying through a turbulent; captain's advice helps the pilots understand the circumstance more accurately. It is also possible to say that older people have more social connections to help young people to get advantages in society, so if they follow the advice well, they might get a letter of reference from their tutors or mentors. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that people must stand on their two feet in the long run. People often have this opinion because they believe that the trials and errors are an essential part of success for young people. The second point is that innovation always comes with challenging to the conventional way. A particularly good example here is when 'From Software' decided to make video games; they were originally an accounting software company, but later they could create some of the best games in history by a sudden proposal of a young newly recruit. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that the young generation should follow their senior's advice because they have more personal experience and connections, which is very useful to help young people's careers. Given this situation, it is recommended to respect older people and ask questions as much as possible to gain their trust.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation should go along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation's story while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
question the elderly. In this essay, I am going to examine both points of view and then give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective on the matter.

On one side of the argument, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue the benefits of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that aircraft have a captain and a
first
officer, and the captain always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
5 or 8years more experience than the lieutenant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in cases of emergency, such as flying through a turbulent; captain's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the pilots understand the circumstance more
accurately
. It is
also
possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more social connections to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if they follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
well, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a letter of reference from their tutors or mentors.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stand on their two feet in the long run.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that the trials and errors are an essential part of success for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The second point is that innovation always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with challenging to the conventional way. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is when 'From Software' decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video games; they were
originally
an accounting software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later they could create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best games in history by a sudden proposal of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
newly
recruit.

In conclusion
, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation should follow their senior's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more personal experience and connections, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's careers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and ask questions as much as possible to gain their trust.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Should you people follow older people's example or it's good for them to challenge older people's opinions and thoughts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts