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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v.8

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v. 8
In today’s world, industrialises countries such as America, Germany and England are amazingly wealthy while people in third world countries are suffering from poverty and many other related problems. So, it becomes a highly debatable issue whether it is the responsibility of governments of those poor nations to help their citizens or the rich countries should share their wealth and resources to them. It sounds reasonable that governments of poor nations are mainly responsible for improving the living status of their people. But for a country without any resources or investment, it would be very difficult to improve the economic status without any help from other rich nations. If wealthy nations share a certain portion of their wealth to the poor nations, it will be a great help to initiate new businesses and investment for a poor nation. Moreover, the basic needs of a country such as education and health can be filled up by donation of medicines and teaching materials. On the other hand, some people argue that sharing of wealth and donations of the basic needs to poor nations is not a real help. Because all these can easily be used up in a short time and no long term benefits might be expected. In addition, it is not sure that the financial support is going into investment for country’s business or it is lost in corruption, a common problem in developing and underdeveloped countries. So, they suggest that instead of material and monetary supply, wealthy nations should better help poor countries with technology and expert skills. For example, they should send the expert technician or professionals to developing countries to teach them advanced technology which can improve their business and lifestyle. Furthermore, young people from poor nations should be sponsored by prosperous nations for further educations. In short, a combination of technology and trained efficient young professionals can build up the long term economic status of the country. In summary, as it is impossible for the governments of poor nations to help the citizens on their own, any supply for short term or long run from the rich would be a very valuable help for them.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialises' is British English.
industrialises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as America, Germany and England are
amazingly
wealthy while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are suffering from poverty and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other related problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it becomes a
highly
debatable issue whether it is the responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their citizens or the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should share their wealth and resources to them.

It sounds reasonable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
mainly
responsible for improving the living status of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without any resources or investment, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economic status without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from other rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. If wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
share a certain portion of their wealth to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, it will be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to initiate new businesses and investment for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Moreover
, the basic needs of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as education and health can
be filled
up by donation of medicines and teaching materials.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that sharing of wealth and donations of the basic needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is not a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
all these can
easily
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up in a short time and no long term benefits might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
In addition
, it is not sure that the financial support is going into investment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
business or it
is lost
in corruption, a common problem in developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they suggest that
instead
of material and monetary supply, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with technology and expert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the expert technician or professionals to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to teach them advanced technology which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their business and lifestyle.
Furthermore
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
be sponsored
by prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
for
further
educations. In short, a combination of technology and trained efficient young professionals can build up the long term economic status of the country.

In summary, as it is impossible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the citizens on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, any supply for short term or long run from the rich would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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