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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v.3

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v. 3
Although there is a wide disparity in the resources available to the people living in different countries, still, I would argue that the government should be accountable for fulfilling its citizens day to day needs. It is imperative that the government in each country is held responsible for providing its citizen basic needs. Firstly, if help is always at hand, some governments may not put in all their efforts to meet both hands, while, few others are going an extra mile to cater for their own as well as the other nations demand. Poor nations can borrow money from world bank to set up, for instance, short scale industries to create employment for its people and boost the economy in long run. Various other steps can always be taken by venturing in trade and commerce for well- being of the nation. Secondly, it may seem unfair to the citizens of the nation providing support that the taxes paid by them for the development of their own nation are being used towards others. Furthermore, it is also a herculean task to categorise all the nations into rich and poor, and then to select a criterion to decide the priority among nations seeking help. Despite all that, we all should be ready to offer help to a nation in times of crisis that arise due to unforeseen circumstances, for instance, floods, earthquake, hurricanes. In conclusion, the common needs of a man should be looked after by the ruling government he chose for himself while in times of calamities, we all should stand united for each other.
Although there is a wide disparity in the resources available to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
still
, I would argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be accountable for fulfilling its citizens day to day needs.

It is imperative that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in each country
is held
responsible for providing its citizen basic needs.
Firstly
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is always at hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
may not put in all their efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
both hands, while, few others are going an extra mile to cater for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
demand. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can borrow money from
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world bank
to set up,
for instance
, short scale industries to create employment for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and boost the economy in long run. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
steps can always
be taken
by venturing in trade and commerce for well- being of the nation.

Secondly
, it may seem unfair to the citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
providing support that the taxes paid by them for the development of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
towards others.
Furthermore
, it is
also
a
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Herculean".
herculean
task to
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorise' is British English.
categorise
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
into rich and poor, and then to select a criterion to decide the priority among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
seeking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Despite all that, we all should be ready to offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in times of crisis that arise due to unforeseen circumstances,
for instance
, floods, earthquake, hurricanes.

In conclusion
, the common needs of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
should
be looked
after by the ruling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
he chose for himself while in times of calamities, we all should stand united for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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