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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v.7

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v. 7
The world economy today is a complex juxtaposition of wealthier nations on one hand and not so wealthy on the other. The developed western countries seem to be living in a futuristic era while the rest of the world is caught in medieval mindsets and technologies. This enormous gap cannot be bridged without co-operation from both sides of the divide. This essay outlines two perspectives from diametrically opposite angles. Wealthy economies must understand that in today's heavily interconnected world; they cannot prosper in an isolated manner. An Ebola outbreak in Liberia, for example, is as much of a threat to the people in Europe or America, thanks to modern day travelling, as it is to rest of the world. And so it becomes an obligation on richer countries to provide the affected areas not only short-term aid like health expertise but also to help with better food and education in order for those countries to handle and control future outbreaks. So as seen from above example, rich nations ought to help others in providing better access to food, education, healthcare etc. On the contrary, though, the countries on receiving the end of such an aid should strive to become independent by the day. For instance, it is not possible to feed 1. 3 billion people solely on foreign aid. The Indian government has to come out with policies to promote innovation in agriculture so as to be able to be self-sufficient eventually. So as seen from the above, developing nations have an equal obligation to try and stand on their own feet. To summarise, it is impossible to close that gigantic valley between the rich and poor countries without mutual effort from both the parties. It is hoped that we forget those artificial international borders and tackle this problem as a humanity to create an egalitarian world where no child is starved and no student is deprived of education.
The
world
economy
today
is a complex juxtaposition of wealthier nations on one hand and not
so
wealthy on the other. The developed western
countries
seem to be living in a futuristic era while the rest of the
world
is caught
in medieval mindsets and technologies. This enormous gap cannot
be bridged
without co-operation from both sides of the divide. This essay outlines two perspectives from
diametrically
opposite angles.

Wealthy economies
must
understand that in
today
's
heavily
interconnected
world
; they cannot prosper in an isolated manner. An Ebola outbreak in Liberia,
for example
, is as much of a threat to the
people
in Europe or America, thanks to modern day travelling, as it is to rest of the
world
. And
so
it becomes an obligation on richer
countries
to provide the
affected
areas not
only
short-term aid like health expertise
but
also
to
help
with better food and education in order for those
countries
to handle and control future outbreaks.
So
as
seen
from above example, rich nations ought to
help
others in providing better access to food, education, healthcare etc.

On the contrary
, though, the
countries
on receiving the
end
of such an aid should strive to become independent by the day.
For instance
, it is not possible to feed 1. 3 billion
people
solely
on foreign aid. The Indian
government
has to
come
out with policies to promote innovation in agriculture
so as to
be able to be self-sufficient
eventually
.
So
as
seen
from the above, developing nations have an equal obligation to
try and
stand on their
own
feet.

To
summarise
, it is impossible to close that gigantic valley between the rich and poor
countries
without mutual effort from both the parties. It
is hoped
that we forget those artificial international borders and tackle this problem as a humanity to create an egalitarian
world
where no child
is starved
and no student
is deprived
of education.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth and resources among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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