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Should the same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco? Discuss. v.2

Should the same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco? Discuss. v. 2
Recently, a heated debate arouse when a few reputable health organizations suggested the application of a similar act of heroin selling and usage prohibition _. In this assay, I will analyze why the adoption of such a law could be a breakthrough in our youngsters’ safety, according to my vision. Firstly, tobacco does not differ much from heroin when it comes to the addictive effect. Nicotin, the active ingredient in tobacco, exerts its effect by acting directly on smoker’s brain cells. Numerous experiments carried out by scientist on animals, specailly rats, proved that this toxic chemical does lead by time to dependency, just similarly to the effect experienced with herion. Secondly, the restriction on cigerattes selling would surely show an instant decline in tobacco smoking. ” Having easy access to cigarettes puts a tremendous pressure, especially on teenagers, to resist such a temptation” Dr. Hisham, head of Pschycology department at Alexandria Medical college, states firmly. “Giving the new generation the sense that the severity of smoking is equivilant to other lethal drugs usage woulod be a life saving step, they will thank us for as they get older. ” he continues. To recapitulate, applying of a futuristic law such as the suggested one will definetly have a positive impact, not only on young people’s health but on our society as a whole.
Recently, a heated debate arouse when a few reputable health organizations suggested the application of a similar act of heroin selling and usage prohibition _. In this assay, I will analyze why the adoption of such a law could be a breakthrough in our youngsters’ safety, according to my vision.

Firstly
, tobacco does not differ much from heroin when it
comes
to the addictive effect.
Nicotin
, the active ingredient in tobacco, exerts its effect by acting
directly
on smoker’s brain cells. Numerous experiments carried out by scientist on animals,
specailly
rats, proved that this toxic chemical does lead by time to dependency,
just
similarly
to the effect experienced with
herion
.

Secondly
, the restriction on
cigerattes
selling would
surely
show
an instant decline in tobacco smoking. ” Having easy access to cigarettes puts a tremendous pressure,
especially
on
teenagers
, to resist such a temptation” Dr.
Hisham
, head of
Pschycology
department at Alexandria Medical college, states
firmly
. “Giving the new generation the sense that the severity of smoking is
equivilant
to other lethal drugs usage
woulod
be a life saving step, they will thank us for as they
get
older. ” he continues.

To recapitulate, applying of a futuristic law such as the suggested one will
definetly
have a
positive
impact, not
only
on young
people
’s health
but
on our society as a whole.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Should the same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco? Discuss. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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