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should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government or should be the responsibility of the individuals to pay for the services. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government or should be the responsibility of the individuals to pay for the services. v. 1
In the modern world, there are a number of charities which are organized in a society. There are those who argue that spending money should be allocated in art, while others claim that spent money on the health care as well as education might be better. Both viewpoints will be examined throughout the essay. Indeed, it is quite noticeable that invested on art brings about benefits to numerous people. The first and the most obvious reason is that art is like a creative philosophy, due to the fact that it possibly motivates people to have imagined colourfully. A clear illustration is art in paradise, These layouts display the story through colour and feeling the animal behaviour for the viewers. This action affects the cultural tradition, even the past situation, how past people they are live. Preserving the cultural heritage from generation to another generation is the another crucial reason to consider. Becoming an identity makes travellers who are interested, leading to tourist attractions. But unfortunately, it is better to invest in people's health and education for various factors. As a first point, the population continuously increases per year, which can lead the medical equipment to not enough to be utilisable. Due to this reason that I mentioned, paying the equipment and granting money to improving doctors' skills, which effectively response the people' need. Last but not the least, the education is the most potential thing in the quality of people. Allocating education for everybody can bring people to have good association and society. Moreover, it obviously decreases the rate of unemployment as same as the crime rate. To conclude, personally, both ways among investment take various advantages to citizens and equally important. As a suggestion, the public administration launch campaign people to educate the worth of these things that they improve them.
In the modern world, there are a number of charities which
are organized
in a society. There are those who argue that spending money should
be allocated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, while others claim that spent money on the health care
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
might be better. Both viewpoints will
be examined
throughout the essay.

Indeed
, it is quite noticeable that invested on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
brings about benefits to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
first
and the most obvious reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is like a creative philosophy, due to the fact that it
possibly
motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have imagined
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourfully' is British English.
colourfully
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
illustration is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in paradise, These layouts display the story through
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and feeling the animal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
for the viewers. This action affects the cultural tradition, even the past situation, how past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Preserving the cultural heritage from generation to another generation is the another crucial reason to consider. Becoming an identity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
who
are interested
, leading to tourist attractions.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately, it is better to invest in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for various factors. As a
first
point, the population
continuously
increases per year, which can lead the medical equipment to not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisable' is British English.
utilisable
. Due to this reason that I mentioned, paying the equipment and granting money to improving doctors'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which
effectively
response the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' need. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the most potential thing in the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Allocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for everybody can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
association and society.
Moreover
, it
obviously
decreases the rate of unemployment as same as the crime rate.

To conclude
,
personally
, both ways among investment take various advantages to citizens and
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. As a suggestion, the public administration launch campaign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to educate the worth of these things that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government or should be the responsibility of the individuals to pay for the services. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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