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some people think you have to go to universities to have any hope of success in your future career others say that not everyone is suitable for higher education and that it is possible to build a successful career without a degree on your CV what is your v.1

some people think you have to go to universities to have any hope of success in your future career others say that not everyone is suitable for higher education and that it is possible to build a successful career without a degree on your CV what is your v. 1
In this modern Era, Every society and town have huge Parks and squares. Some people suggested it is necessary to have Massive parks and squares while others are arguing it. this essay will discuss why should I strongly Agree to convert big Public places into parks and garden. First of all, parks are playing a vital role in our life. It is more helpful to do all leisure activities in all age groups. In current scenario, all masses have a hectic schedule. So they are mostly taken help of digital media for entertainment purpose rather than Playing in a Garden or a public place. for instance- Not only children are playing Games in the garden But also youngsters are also doing physical activities for the betterment of their health. furthermore old age people are also getting benefit like they can meet with their friends and increase the socialization with their ideas. So these Places are helping all to all human beings to do all kinds of activities. on the other hand, we have to use these Huge places for the shelter purpose of poor people instead of Playgrounds & gardens. In every town and city Has several people who are dying on Roads Because they have not a proper place to survive. Although, they are sleeping on a footpath which is the most dangerous activity. For example- As per the recent data of India, there are almost 0. 15% people are homeless also the government is not taking any aggressive Step for their health. They are facing all situations like- Rain & storm without shelter. We have to focus on this point rather than using the vacant Public place for gardens. To sum up, this essay discussed about public Places are important for the Entertainment purpose for all human beings on the other side, we have to use them for the betterment of needy people. In my opinion I completely agree on that we have to use these places for Gardens and squares. Cities and town are looking more beautiful with the help of them.
In this modern Era, Every society and town have huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parks
and squares.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggested it is necessary to have Massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares while others are arguing it. this essay will discuss why should I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Agree
to convert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and garden.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are playing a vital role in our life. It is more helpful to do all leisure activities in all age groups. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, all masses have a hectic schedule.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are
mostly
taken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of digital media for entertainment purpose
rather
than Playing in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Garden
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance- Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
children are playing Games in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
youngsters are
also
doing physical activities for the betterment of their health.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
getting benefit like they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with their friends and increase the socialization with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Places
are helping all to all human beings to do all kinds of activities.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these Huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for the shelter purpose of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of Playgrounds &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
. In every town and city Has several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are dying on Roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have not a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to survive.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, they are sleeping on a footpath which is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
activity.
For example
- As per the recent data of India, there are almost 0. 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are homeless
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not taking any aggressive Step for their health. They are facing all situations like- Rain & storm without shelter. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on this point
rather
than using the vacant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for gardens.

To sum up, this essay discussed about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Places
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the Entertainment purpose for all human beings on the other side, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for the betterment of needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gardens
and squares. Cities and town are looking more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think you have to go to universities to have any hope of success in your future career others say that not everyone is suitable for higher education and that it is possible to build a successful career without a degree on your CV what is your v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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