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Should a city try to preserve its old, historic building or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? What is your viewpoint on this issue? v.2

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic building or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? What is your viewpoint on this issue? v. 2
There are many common issues, such as traffic jam, air pollution, unemployment, et al, which most cities are sharing these days. Metropolises: Istanbul, Rome, Napoli, London, Madrid, Paris, etc. , also have to deal with historic and antique constructions on top of those issues. Engineers assert old, historic buildings have to be demolished in terms of safety standards; however, the metropolises’ authorities preserve the buildings for certain reasons. Historic and old buildings can be devastating in case of emergency situations. According to WHO (World Health Organization) statistics, relatively more people die in earthquakes in Napoli than in Japanese cities despite the same magnitude of the cataclysm and density of residents in the cities. This discrepancy occurs due to the fact that there are significantly more old buildings in Napoli, whereas most architecture are modern and correspond to safety standards in Japanese cities. Moreover, old buildings have substantially less occupancy capacity than modern ones, although they cover the same field, historic mansions can even spread to more area, as modern constructions. Therefore, a city should substitute antique architecture for newer ones in order to reside its increasing population. Thus, it seems there are more reasons to destroy than to keep all old and historic buildings due to fragility and lack of residence capacity. Nevertheless, cities’ authorities preserve old and historic architecture in terms of heritage, tourism, and business. Some cities are recognized by their ancient architecture inherited from ancestors. For instance, Istanbul cannot be mixed up with other cities due to its unique architecture, mostly by mosques and temples built hundreds years ago. Also, cities with ancient constructions are attracted by millions of tourists all over the world. Rome, for example, is visited by nearly 5 million tourists who seek the spirit of ancient Roman Empire and contemplate antique Roman architecture. Lastly, old, historic buildings are a profitable opportunity for construction companies. Thousands of historic buildings are closed for refurbishment yearly to renovate and strengthen constructions. Old, historic buildings are our heritage, therefore, it is imperative that they be preserved since new technologies allow to reinforce them to withstand against natural cataclysms.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
common issues, such as traffic jam, air pollution, unemployment,
A dot is missing here: "et al."
et al
, which most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are sharing these days. Metropolises: Istanbul, Rome,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Napoli
, London, Madrid, Paris, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
and antique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
on top of those issues. Engineers assert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be demolished
in terms of safety standards;
however
, the metropolises’ authorities preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
for certain reasons.

Historic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be devastating in case of emergency situations. According to
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
(World Health Organization) statistics,
relatively
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in earthquakes in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Napoli
than in Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
despite the same magnitude of the cataclysm and density of residents in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This discrepancy occurs due to the fact that there are
significantly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Napoli
, whereas most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
are modern and correspond to safety standards in Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have
substantially
less occupancy capacity than modern ones, although they cover the same field,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
mansions can even spread to more area, as modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
.
Therefore
, a city should substitute antique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
for newer ones in order to reside its increasing population.
Thus
, it seems there are more reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
due to fragility and lack of residence capacity.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
authorities preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
in terms of heritage, tourism, and business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are recognized
by their ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
inherited from ancestors.
For instance
, Istanbul cannot
be mixed
up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to its unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
,
mostly
by mosques and temples built hundreds years ago.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
are attracted
by millions of tourists all over the world. Rome,
for example
,
is visited
by
nearly
5 million tourists who seek the spirit of ancient Roman Empire and contemplate antique Roman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are a profitable opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are closed
for refurbishment yearly to renovate and strengthen constructions.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are our heritage,
therefore
, it is imperative that they
be preserved
since new technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to reinforce them to withstand against natural cataclysms.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve its old, historic building or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? What is your viewpoint on this issue? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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