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Share an experience when you had an issue with your friend and how you overcame it v.1

Share an experience when you had an issue with your friend and how you overcame it v. 1
Many of us have arguments and misunderstandings with our friends, and I am not an exception. Since I met my friend 2. 5 years ago, he has left in the middle of conversation several times or did not reply my messages after reading them. The most recent incident was just 3 days ago, he suddenly became silent when we were texting on WhatsApp. I did not understand what happened, and then several thoughts come through my mind, including the very negative ones, such as “he does not care what I am talking about”, “he is not interested”, or even “I’m not important”. I soon felt disappointed and thought about drifting apart. The next morning when I calmed down, I thought I might have taken it personally. I decided to call him and talk it through. I told him how I feel and let him explain what happened. He said when I texted him, he thought I just simply made a statement and that he did not have to respond. He validated my emotions and we agreed that we would be more responsive and discuss openly any issues that may cause mis-communication. From the experience, I’ve learnt that we need to be open and straightforward, rather than keep it personally and let our ego interpret the actions in different ways, which may not necessarily the intention of our friend. I can then trust our friendship more. I realize that an argument with a friend can be a good thing in disguise, it is actually an opportunity to boost understanding and learn to act in a more mature manner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of us have arguments and misunderstandings with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and I am not an exception.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
I met my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
2. 5 years ago, he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in the middle of conversation several times or did not reply my messages after reading them. The most recent incident was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
3 days ago, he
suddenly
became silent when we were texting on WhatsApp. I did not understand what happened, and then several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
through my mind, including the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones, such as “he does not care what I am talking about”, “he is not interested”, or even “I’m not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
”. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
felt disappointed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
about drifting apart. The
next
morning when I calmed down, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
I might have taken it
personally
. I decided to call him and talk it through. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him how I feel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what happened. He said when I texted him, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
made a statement and that he did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
respond. He validated my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emotions and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that we would be more responsive and discuss
openly
any issues that may cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-communication
. From the experience, I’ve
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
that we need to be open and straightforward,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it
personally
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
our ego interpret the actions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, which may not
necessarily
the intention of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. I can then trust our friendship more. I realize that an argument with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing in disguise, it is actually an opportunity to boost understanding and learn to act in a more mature manner.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Share an experience when you had an issue with your friend and how you overcame it v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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