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Several languages die every year. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that a world with fewer languages promotes harmony and understanding between people. Analyze both sides of this argument and provide your opinion. Provide specific examples and v.2

Several languages die every year. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that a world with fewer languages promotes harmony and understanding between people. Analyze both sides of this argument and provide your opinion. Provide specific examples and v. 2
Language is the pivotal vessel by which people communicate with each other. Each year, several languages become extinct, which is considered a positive trend by some people since it results in a world with better harmony between its dwellers. I oppose this belief due to several reasons which will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, the loss of a language means losing the history of the nation who used to speak that language. Important events and anecdotes of a nation, which happened in the past, are passed through generations by many vessels, such as books or poems. However, language plays the most significant role in doing what was said by provers or common folk stories. Thus, what is actually happening when a language is evading is not only just extinction of some words and grammars, but the enriched history of a nation, which undoubtedly is a great loss. This matter can simply be exemplified by the book named “Shahnameh”, which consists of poems in Persian, helping save the language as well as the history of Persians. Moreover, fewer languages result in a less astonishing world. One of the most fascinating beauties of mankind is the variety in people and societies. What distinguishes a society is the culture if that society, which is saved and passed through by proverbs and expressions. Therefore, when a language is lost, the culture of speakers of that language is gone, being a fiasco without a doubt. Despite what was said, it must be taken into account that fewer languages have helped humans to advance in many aspects, such as science, in a faster pace nowadays. In the past, people were forced to learn many languages and dialects if they wanted to communicate with other people from other parts of the globe. However, nowadays, eradication of several languages has removed the burden of learning so many languages, easing up the communication between humans. As a result, humans cooperate better due to better communication and understanding, leading to higher rate of growth in every aspect. To sum up, even though death of several languages has aided humans in achieving advancements, it is a negative trend. Every time a language dies, a culture and history of a nation dies with it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
is the pivotal vessel by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with each other. Each year, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
become extinct, which
is considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since it results in a world with better harmony between its dwellers. I oppose this belief due to several reasons which will
be discussed
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the loss of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
means losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to speak that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and anecdotes of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, which happened in the past,
are passed
through generations by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vessels, such as books or poems.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
plays the most significant role in doing what
was said
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
provers
or common folk stories.
Thus
, what is actually happening when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is evading is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words and grammars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the enriched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, which
undoubtedly
is a great loss. This matter can
simply
be exemplified
by the book named “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shahnameh
”, which consists of poems in Persian, helping save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of Persians.

Moreover
, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
result in a less astonishing world. One of the most fascinating beauties of mankind is the variety in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and societies. What distinguishes a society is the culture if that society, which
is saved
and passed through by proverbs and expressions.
Therefore
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is lost
, the culture of speakers of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is gone
, being a fiasco without a doubt.

Despite what
was said
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into account that fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to advance in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, such as science, in a faster pace nowadays. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were forced
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and dialects if they wanted to communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from other parts of the globe.
However
, nowadays, eradication of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has removed the burden of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, easing up the communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cooperate better due to better communication and understanding, leading to higher rate of growth in every aspect.

To sum up,
even though
death of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has aided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in achieving advancements, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend. Every time a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
, a culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
with it.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Several languages die every year. Many people feel this is a positive trend and that a world with fewer languages promotes harmony and understanding between people. Analyze both sides of this argument and provide your opinion. Provide specific examples and v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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