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scientists agree that people ruin their health by eating junk food some people think that is the best way to prevent people from eating junk food is to educate them, while others believe that this won't work. discuss both views and give your own opin v.2

scientists agree that people ruin their health by eating junk food some people think that is the best way to prevent people from eating junk food is to educate them, while others believe that this won't work. 2
It is an obvious fact that junk foods endanger our health conditions and eating it frequently will have many disruptive effects on our body in a hardly far future. But despite of the knowledge that some people have upon the benefits of healthy and home made food due to time and cost of these kinds of nutrients they are most likely to use junk food. Tv, internet and social media have always had an special place in our life styles. some people might simply deny this but advertisement impacts their unconscious parts of brains say when we go for shopping and we want to shop on topics that we’ve never had experience buying before we’d rather buy the one that we’ve already heard the name than the one with unfamiliar name and look. this fact implies in our life styles too. if instead of seeing commercial of diverse fast foods we repeatedly see advertisements that would strongly encourage eating and using healthy food after a while we’ll prefer healthy food style. due to the research done by the scientists people in groups accommodate to the decision that is made by group even if they disagree with it or they are not satisfied with the results they will still conform with the unity of the group. So if we think of society as a big group and consider the decision is alternating healthy foods with junk food after a while we will get to see that the most of the people are behaving as it is beneficial to their health and body. In the other hand some think spending a huge amount of resource on conducting and educating advertisements is useless and that money can be invested in other parts of a society for instance on making new jobs or supporting new and young working resources. We can’t claim that this isn’t a logical idea but if we change our point of view my can see that instead of spending that much time, money and years of people’s life for training that many doctors we can simply confront the possible sicknesses in future. At last my personal opinion is that eating junk food has became more like a habit than a thinking style and habits can be changed. in addition to my personal experience most of the people don’t even know what harms eating junk food can cause on their bodies and they like it just because it is easy to find, gets ready fast enough and more importantly they are so tired to cook! But if enough notice were put upon this issue it might be leaded throw the right pass and all the obesities and health problems that have been stablished get solved.
It is an obvious fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
endanger our health conditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
it
frequently
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disruptive effects on our body in a hardly far future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the knowledge that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have upon the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and home made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to time and cost of these kinds of nutrients they are most likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
food.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
, internet and social media have always had
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
special place in our life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
styles
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
simply
deny this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
advertisement impacts their unconscious parts of brains say when we go for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shopping and
we want to shop on topics that we’ve never had experience buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we’d
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the one that we’ve already heard the name than the one with unfamiliar name and look.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
fact implies in our life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
styles
too.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
instead
of seeing commercial of diverse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
we
repeatedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertisements that would
strongly
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
after a while we’ll prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to the research done by the scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
accommodate to the decision that
is made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
even if they disagree with
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it or
they are not satisfied with the results they will
still
conform with the unity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of society as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and consider the decision is alternating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
after a while we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are behaving as it is beneficial to their health and body.

In the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
spending a huge amount of resource on conducting and educating advertisements is useless and that money can
be invested
in other parts of a society
for instance
on making new jobs or supporting new and young working resources. We can’t claim that this isn’t a logical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our point of view my can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
instead
of spending that much time, money and years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life for training that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors we can
simply
confront the possible sicknesses
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

At
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my personal" or "last personal"?
last my personal
opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
more like a habit than a thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
and habits can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition to my personal experience most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t even know what harms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can cause on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bodies and
they like it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is easy to find,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
ready
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and more
importantly
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired to cook!
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
notice
were put
upon this issue it might
be leaded
throw the right pass and all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesities
and health problems that have been
Possible spelling mistake found.
stablished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
solved.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay scientists agree that people ruin their health by eating junk food some people think that is the best way to prevent people from eating junk food is to educate them, while others believe that this won't work. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
454 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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