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Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion v.3

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. 3
It ought to be essential for parents to enrol in a parenting training course as it will greatly benefit their children's future life. In my opinion, I agree that parents can learn about tackling generation-gap and providing emotional support to their children through parenting seminars. The parenting workshops can teach parents why it is crucial to minimise the generation - gap and various ways to tackle it. In other words, every generation grew up in different environment setting and beliefs, as a result, they developed different behaviour and attitude. In the current day situation, there is a communication barrier between parents and their children. These workshops could target different reasons of generation-gap, thus, improving communication among various age groups. By doing this, they can bond easily with their loved ones. Finally, parents can understand the requirement of emotional support through parenting training courses. To further explain, due to an increase in competition, child development demands special attention and emotional support, which most parents fail to provide these days. For example, many suicide attempts were documented in the last few years because of poor mental health that resulted from a lack of emotional support. These workshops make parents understand the key aetiologies and possible solutions regarding one's mental health and the necessary support required. In conclusion, parenting seminars are vital as it allows parents to understand the key factors hindering a child's development, and different methods to handle them for a better outcome in their future life.
It ought to be essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to enrol in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training course as it will
greatly
benefit their children's future life. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can learn about tackling generation-gap and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to their children through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
seminars.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
workshops can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
why it is crucial to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the generation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
gap and various ways to tackle it.
In other words
, every generation grew up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environment setting and beliefs,
as a result
, they developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and attitude. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
day situation, there is a communication barrier between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children. These workshops could target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
reasons of generation-gap,
thus
, improving communication among various age groups. By doing this, they can bond
easily
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can understand the requirement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training courses. To
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, due to an increase in competition, child development demands special attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, which most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fail to provide these days.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
suicide attempts
were documented
in the last few years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor mental health that resulted from a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
. These workshops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
understand the key
Possible spelling mistake. 'aetiologies' is British English.
aetiologies
and possible solutions regarding one's mental health and the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
required.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
seminars are vital as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to understand the key factors hindering a child's development, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
methods to handle them for a better outcome in their future life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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