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The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same work or the same work conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to prepare people for work in the future. v.5

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same work or the same work conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to prepare people for work in the future. v. 5
In this day and age, it is widely acknowledged that the job market is ever-evolving. The current industry structure is threatened as the local economy has moved from industries that rely on physical labour for those with favor brains. In this way, I personally agree with this premise that many people are unable to continue the same job. Industry structure is more likely to be close to occupations. Because, compared to the past, the primary industry has tended to focus on agricultures, then begun to the second industry was in light and heavy industries, the tertiary industry with developed countries are related to service field. Presumably, it might be influenced the consumer attitude, as changing business. For example, there are a lot of people riding a bike in previous time. So those who can fix machine had a quite important role in previous time. However, with the increasing of used cars, the proportion of repairmen had gone. As such, the reason why people could not keep their jobs due to being a changeable industry revolution. On top of that, because of automation of some industries that lead to people need to more brain rather than physical labours. For instance, robots will be replaced human work. consequently, unfortunately, the majority of workers do not need to work anymore. For these reasons, a lot of occupations have completely a difference in the upcoming years. All of considered the thing that education at school should teach more professional skill that can find the promising job, and government also provide children to various experience.
In this day and age, it is
widely
acknowledged that the job market is ever-evolving. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
structure
is threatened
as the local economy has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
that rely on physical
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
for those with favor brains. In this way, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this premise that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to continue the same job.

Industry structure is more likely to be close to occupations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, compared to the past, the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has tended to focus on
Possible spelling mistake found.
agricultures
, then begun to the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
was in light and heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, the tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are related
to service field. Presumably, it might
be influenced
the consumer attitude, as changing business.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
riding a bike in previous time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
those who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
machine had a quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in previous time.
However
, with the increasing of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cars, the proportion of repairmen had gone. As such, the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their jobs due to being a changeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
revolution.

On top of that
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of automation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
that lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to more brain
rather
than physical
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
.
For instance
, robots will
be replaced
human work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, unfortunately, the majority of workers do not need to work anymore. For these reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
occupations have completely a difference in the upcoming years.

All of considered the thing that education at school should teach more professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that can find the promising job, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
provide children to various experience.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same work or the same work conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to prepare people for work in the future. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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