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Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. v.2

Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. v. 2
Recently scientists worried about climate change have urged governments to introduce measures to reduce the greenhouse gas emissions that are seen as its main cause. Simultaneously, politicians and environmentalists have urged individuals to make changes to their lifestyle. I shall argue that governments and individuals should take join responsibility for this problem. Firstly, industry accounts for a large proportion of the greenhouse gas emissions, and this can only be controlled by government action. Measures could be taken to discourage pollution, such as limiting or taxing the use of fossil fuels. Alternatively, subsidies could be offered to industries to clean up their production processes. If these ideas were adopted, I believe that businesses would regard pollution as a financial issue. Secondly, discussions among governments can ensure that solutions are successful. The Kyoto agreement, for example, tried to reach a global agreement on how to address the problem. Without such co-operating, it seems to me that efforts to reduce fuel consumption are unlikely to be effective. However, national and international policies will only succeed if individuals also change their lifestyle. For example, people could think more carefully about how they use energy in their homes. By using less electricity, installing energy-efficient light bulbs and electrical appliances, or investing in solar panels, individuals can make a real difference. In addition, I think individual attitudes to transport need to change. Instead of making short trips by car, people could choose to walk, cycle, or take a bus. Since cars are a major source of the problem, changing our behaviour in this area would have a major impact. In conclusion, I would maintain that only a combination of the international agreement, national policies, and changes in individual behaviour will succeed in preventing further damage to the environment.
Recently scientists worried about climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
have urged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to introduce measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the greenhouse gas emissions that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as its main cause.
Simultaneously
, politicians and environmentalists have urged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to their lifestyle. I shall argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
responsibility for this problem.

Firstly
, industry accounts for a large proportion of the greenhouse gas emissions, and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be controlled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
action. Measures could
be taken
to discourage pollution, such as limiting or taxing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels.
Alternatively
, subsidies could
be offered
to industries to clean up their production processes. If these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
were adopted
, I believe that businesses would regard pollution as a financial issue.
Secondly
, discussions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can ensure that solutions are successful. The Kyoto agreement,
for example
, tried to reach a global agreement on how to address the problem. Without such co-operating, it seems to me that efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
fuel consumption are unlikely to be effective.

However
, national and international policies will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
succeed if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their lifestyle.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more
carefully
about how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
energy in their homes. By using less electricity, installing energy-efficient light bulbs and electrical appliances, or investing in solar panels,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a real difference.
In addition
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
attitudes to transport need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Instead
of making short trips by car,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could choose to walk, cycle, or take a bus. Since cars are a major source of the problem, changing our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in this area would have a major impact.

In conclusion
, I would maintain that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a combination of the international agreement, national policies, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will succeed in preventing
further
damage to the environment.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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