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Nowadays people believe that governments should invest tax payer s money in healthcare others believe that money should be use in other areas Discuss both points of view and give your opinion v.1

Nowadays people believe that governments should invest tax payer s money in healthcare others believe that money should be use in other areas 1
In these days, technology reaches its heights and became the significant part of the modernisation. This developing technology lead to many great inventions, one of them is the computerised learning programmes for teaching process in the classrooms rather than offline teaching. Some people opine that this modern technique improve student knowledge in learning skills, while others argue that this may lead to several risks to the students. This essay will discuss about the both views and my opinion will be mentioned in the following paragraphs. To begin, there are myriad advantages of this online learning and teaching. First and foremost, these can be easily accessible to each and every student with a suitable username and password. Thus, students can learn their syllabus from either home or classroom without any interruption. Furthermore, computers provide views of real time examples, which professionals are not able to. For instance, if a student wants to know clear image of 3D printing, it is clearly explained by the modern softwares with clear knowledge, but human can not. On the other hand, there are several consequences to the students because of these computers. First and foremost, student's eye sight may be affected by these LED and LCD displays, which have higher resolution than recommended. Moreover, it also cause brain damage to the children, due to the presence of more time on these coloured pictures. Another important factor is that, students are not willing to attend these classes, because there is no faculty in the classroom to control them. Having discussed arguments and counter arguments, I believe that live classes are better than offline classes, because they are able to show us things related to reality instead of writing on the blackboard. To conclude, I reiterate my statement by saying that computers bring better understanding to the students, which professors are not able to do.
In these days, technology reaches its heights and became the significant part of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
. This developing technology lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great inventions, one of them is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for teaching process in the classrooms
rather
than offline teaching.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that this modern technique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
knowledge in learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, while others argue that this may lead to several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
both views and my opinion will
be mentioned
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are myriad advantages of this online learning and teaching.
First
and foremost, these can be
easily
accessible to each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with a suitable username and password.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn their syllabus from either home or classroom without any interruption.
Furthermore
, computers provide views of real time examples, which professionals are not able to.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
wants to know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
image of 3D printing, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
human can not.

On the other hand
, there are several
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these computers.
First
and foremost, student's
This word is usually spelt together: "eyesight".
eye sight
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by these LED and
This phrase is redundant ('D' stands for 'display'). Consider using "LCDs".
LCD displays
, which have higher resolution than recommended.
Moreover
, it
also
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
brain damage to the children, due to the presence of more time on these
Possible spelling mistake. 'coloured' is British English.
coloured
pictures. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not willing to attend these classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no faculty in the classroom to control them.

Having discussed arguments and counter arguments, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
classes are better than offline classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us things related to reality
instead
of writing on the blackboard.

To conclude
, I reiterate my statement by saying that computers bring better understanding to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which professors are not able to do.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people believe that governments should invest tax payer s money in healthcare others believe that money should be use in other areas 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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