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Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organisations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organisations. v. 2
Scientific research plays a very important role in the progress of the nation. It is argued that this inclination should be controlled and financed by the national authority than the private sector. I strongly agree with this phenomenon and in the ensuing paragraphs I will allude to these arguments further. There are numerous reasons to support my viewpoint. To begin with, scientific exploration such as space exploration, nuclear weapons tests, and new medicine experiments, these require enormous capital and security. The government is capable of providing financial assistance to various research projects. Moreover, if the project fails to achieve its objects, the authority has to cope up with the losses. Furthermore, when government funds research activities, there is utmost security. They do not disclose any information, which could hamper national preservation. Foe example, nuclear weapons tests are very important for any countries, however, this type of research is supervised by the government due to security purpose. If governments are controlling exploration projects, they would have a safe hand. On the contrary, when private organisations conduct research, there are some significant dangers in it. First, private companies invest a lump sum of money in studies, it takes a longer time for the expected results. For example, companies that produce medicinal drugs legally go through rigorous trails, which may take several years to complete. Finally, it does not provide sufficient security in this research. Hence, there are some reasons for this trend. In conclusion, I reckon that analysis in science should be operated by the union to protect and to boost up scientific research. Private organization, have their own interest, which is dangerous.
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the progress of the nation. It
is argued
that this inclination should
be controlled
and financed by the national authority than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sector. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this phenomenon and in the ensuing paragraphs I will allude to these arguments
further
.

There are numerous reasons to support my viewpoint. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, scientific exploration such as space exploration, nuclear weapons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, and new medicine experiments, these require enormous capital and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is capable of providing financial assistance to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
projects.
Moreover
, if the project fails to achieve its objects, the authority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
cope up with the losses.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
activities, there is utmost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
. They do not disclose any information, which could hamper national preservation. Foe example, nuclear weapons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for any countries,
however
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is supervised
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
purpose. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are controlling exploration projects, they would have a safe hand.

On the contrary
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in it.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
invest a lump sum of money in studies, it takes a longer time for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
results.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that produce medicinal drugs
legally
go through rigorous trails, which may take several years to complete.
Finally
, it does not provide sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Hence
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this trend.

In conclusion
, I reckon that analysis in science should
be operated
by the union to protect and to boost up scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
, have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organisations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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