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A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v.1

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v. 1
In the era of globalization, the scope of tourism has increased immensely and it also plays a vital role in the development of the nation’s economy. Although travel has some dark sides, I believe that the positive aspects outnumber negative aspects. On the one hand, it is undeniable that touristy brings the positive benefits to people in both economy and infrastructure. Firstly, the travel industry plays a vital role in some countries, for example Vietnam. It not only provokes the augmentation of the national recession, but also creates a myriad of job opportunities. Because the more tourists travel, the more money is being spent on a wide range of services, namely hotel bookings, tour guide, restaurants and transportations. This results in additional income which boost in the country’s recession and novel job opening for local people such as hotel staff. Another reason is that governments will spend more money to improve infrastructure and make their countries is more attractive to tourists. On the other hand, if local governments have the correct remedies they can eliminate the dark sides of touristy. Firstly, travel can have the negative impact on the environment. It’s not only because of a large number of tourists, but also the lack of awareness and misbehaving of some tourists can due to the devastation of beautiful and historic sites. Moreover, tourists can cause the cultural erosion. Local tradition may be lost and traditional jobs and skills die out, namely farming, fishing, … Because local people are forced to work in the tourist industry. In conclusion, I believe the positive benefits of tourism overshadow the negative impacts. In addition, the disadvantages can be eliminated by the local governments if they have the ensure proper security measures and timely maintenance of tourist spots.
In the era of globalization, the scope of tourism has increased
immensely
and it
also
plays a vital role in the development of the nation’s economy. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dark sides, I believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects outnumber
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that touristy brings the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in both economy and infrastructure.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
industry plays a vital role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
for example
Vietnam. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provokes the augmentation of the national recession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
creates a myriad of job opportunities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, the more money is
being spent
on a wide range of services,
namely
hotel bookings, tour guide, restaurants and transportations. This results in additional income which boost in the country’s recession and novel job opening for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as hotel staff. Another reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will spend more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
infrastructure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their countries is more attractive to tourists.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have the correct remedies they can eliminate the dark sides of touristy.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
can have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the environment. It’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the lack of awareness and misbehaving of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can due to the devastation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and historic sites.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can cause the cultural erosion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
tradition may
be lost
and traditional jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out,
namely
farming, fishing, …
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
industry.

In conclusion
, I believe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefits of tourism overshadow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
In addition
, the disadvantages can
be eliminated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
if they have
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'ensure' is correct. If 'ensure' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the ensure
proper security measures and timely maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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