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Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree? v.9

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v. 9
It is the fact that scientific research plays a very important role in the thriving of a nation. According to many opinions, instead of being conducted by private companies, essential scientific experiments must be run and administered by the governments. While there are some arguments in favour of scientific research by corporations, I absolutely subscribe to the viewpoint that it should be the state officials to monitor the inquiry alone. It is indisputable that scientific research requires a huge amount of money to be supervised and the governments are responsible for providing financial assistance to these projects. Owing to the fact that the administration now benefit from various tax payments, especially high taxed goods such as beer, spirits and tobacco. Hence, the state budget is totally adequate to pay for scientific research. Moreover, the government has the subsidy to cope up with the losses incurred if there has a search failure. Another reason is that the technology study’s safety will be assured and trusted under the stringent supervision of the authority. Specifically, there are several pharmaceutical business exchanges the ingredients of medicines to make them cheaper, which might take a negatively great influence to the patients. For example, there are 120. 000 people dying because of poor quality anti-malarial drugs every year in Africa, according to the BBC in 2016. Therefore, it is good for society when the government control scientific projects rather than private organizations. Nevertheless, I think that private companies should also share the obligation to manage scientific research. The excuse is that this could help to ease the pressure on the government’s finances. As a result, citizens would have to pay lower taxes, and the authorities would also have more money to spend on other important fields such as education or health care. Furthermore, private companies attach many good scientists through competitive salaries. When these organizations control scientific researches, with the help of these experts, these projects have more opportunities to be successful. For instance, Greenergy is a private company becoming the UK’s only national fuel supplier that cooperate with some Canada and Ireland specialists to investigate a new type of burning energy to replace the old one. To sum up, I believe that scientific research should be manipulated and directed by both the governments and private companies because there are advantages from each of them. The state would help to ensure the safety of these experiments and the corporations would be able to contribute their part to the well-being of the civilization.
It is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the thriving of a nation. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions,
instead
of
being conducted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
experiments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be run
and administered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
by corporations, I
absolutely
subscribe to the viewpoint that it should be the state officials to monitor the inquiry alone.

It is indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
requires a huge amount of money to
be supervised
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for providing financial assistance to these projects. Owing to the fact that the administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
benefit from various tax payments,
especially
high taxed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as beer, spirits and tobacco.
Hence
, the state budget is
totally
adequate to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the subsidy to cope up with the losses incurred if there has a search failure. Another reason is that the technology study’s safety will
be assured
and trusted under the stringent supervision of the authority.
Specifically
, there are several pharmaceutical business exchanges the ingredients of medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them cheaper, which might take a
negatively
great influence to the patients.
For example
, there are 120. 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor quality anti-malarial drugs every year in Africa, according to the BBC in 2016.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
projects
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
organizations.

Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
also
share the obligation to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. The excuse is that this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
finances.
As a result
, citizens would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay lower taxes, and the authorities would
also
have more money to spend on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields such as education or health care.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
attach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scientists through competitive salaries. When these organizations control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these experts, these projects have more opportunities to be successful.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Greenergy
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
becoming the UK’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
national fuel supplier that cooperate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Canada and Ireland specialists to investigate a new type of burning energy to replace the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one.

To sum up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should
be manipulated
and directed by both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are advantages from each of them. The state would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to ensure the safety of these experiments and the corporations would be able to contribute their part to the well-being of the civilization.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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