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Some people believe that modern inventions have more problems as compared to their benefits. Do you agree or disagree with this view? v.2

Some people believe that modern inventions have more problems as compared to their benefits. with this view? v. 2
Technological advancements are necessary for the growth and betterment of mankind. Everyday new inventions are made which are making the lives of individuals easier. It is argued that new developments are causing numerous issues in contrast to advantages. This essay disagrees with the argument that modern developments are causing complications and will outline the reason why current innovations have more cons than pros. There are several reasons to support my views. Firstly, new technologies such as the Internet world has become a small place. We can connect with individuals sitting across the globe. Secondly, new inventions have led to new industries emerging in the market and creating new jobs for people. Thirdly, developments in the medical field have come as a boon for mankind. Individuals are getting better health care facilities. Moreover, innovations in the transport industry have made it easier to travel large distances in a short time. A good example of this is aeroplanes, using them, we can travel to different countries in a couple of hours. Needless to say, recent innovations have helped a lot to mankind. On the contrary, there are few issues arising with the development of new technologies. First of all, data security has become a huge challenge. People are being victims of cyber attacks. Recently, there has been misuse of technology, which has proved disastrous for the masses. But issues like these are easy to handle. We can always protect our data and new technologies from falling into the wrong hands. There are many new software available in the market to help people from the misuse of new innovations. It goes without saying, issues are easier to mitigate using proper precautions. In conclusion, after analysing various aspects of the argument, it is not hard to see that current inventions have more advantages with respect to disadvantages.
Technological advancements are necessary for the growth and betterment of mankind. Everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions
are made
which are making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of individuals easier. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
are causing numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in contrast
to advantages. This essay disagrees with the argument that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
are causing complications and will outline the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
have more cons than pros.

There are several reasons to support my views.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as the Internet world has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
place. We can connect with individuals sitting across the globe.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions have led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
industries emerging in the market and creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
jobs for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
in the medical field have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
as a boon for mankind. Individuals are getting better health care facilities.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
in the transport industry have made it easier to travel large distances in a short time. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, using them, we can travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in a couple of hours. Needless to say, recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a lot to mankind.

On the contrary
, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
arising with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, data security has become a huge challenge.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are being victims of
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber attacks
. Recently, there has been misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which has proved disastrous for the masses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like these are easy to handle. We can always protect our data and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
from falling into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
software available in the market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
. It goes without saying,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are easier to mitigate using proper precautions.

In conclusion
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
various aspects of the argument, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
inventions have more advantages with respect to disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people believe that modern inventions have more problems as compared to their benefits. with this view? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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