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Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree? v.10

It is often argued that the crucial research regarding science and technology should be confident to government bodies without involving the private sector. Although some might disagree with this notion; however, I completely disagree to alienate private bodies from scientific research. Not only because the private companies associated with such projects would be beneficial for the infrastructure of a consequence and would generate employment opportunities, but also because solutions can be traced at a much faster pace. This essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion. There are many benefits that a country can reap by involving private companies in confidential projects. Firstly, it will have a profound impact on the progress and development of a nation. As private companies will invest huge amount of money to carryout various research projects that could generate revenues, if become successful and therefore, enable the country to foster. Take an example of People's Republic Of China, where both the governments and private companies are going hand in hand to make scientific researches sucessful. Thus, country's progress is massively dependant on the private sector. Secondly, employment rate would increase tremendously by opening new research projects by private corporates. As large number of vacancies will open up for hiring educated and talented graduates with exceptionally well-paid salaries. For instance, Samsung has been hiring intelligent software engineers for devising modern mobile technology each year. Hence, unemployment would lessen significantly. Finally, when governments collaborate with multinational companies, they ought to find solutions of nearly all problems. As research is not the only sector be taken care of by government, therefore, extremely complicated issues like pandemics and warfare can be tackled easily with private companies co-operation. To sum-up, I believe that a venture of government and private sector would bring subtle yet fundamental benefits interms of employability, progress of a country and help finding innovative ways of complex problems.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
regarding science and technology should be confident to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
bodies without involving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might disagree with this notion;
however
, I completely disagree to alienate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
bodies from scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
associated with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
would be beneficial for the infrastructure of a consequence and would generate employment opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
solutions can
be traced
at a much faster pace. This essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits that a country can reap by involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
.
Firstly
, it will have a profound impact on the progress and development of a nation. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will invest huge amount of money to carryout various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
that could generate revenues, if become successful and
therefore
, enable the country to foster. Take an example of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's Republic Of China, where both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are going hand in hand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucessful
.
Thus
, country's progress is
massively
Did you mean “dependent” on?
dependant
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
Secondly
, employment rate would increase
tremendously
by opening new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
. As large number of vacancies will open up for hiring educated and talented graduates with
exceptionally
well-paid salaries.
For instance
, Samsung has been hiring intelligent software engineers for devising modern mobile technology each year.
Hence
, unemployment would lessen
significantly
.
Finally
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
collaborate with multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, they ought to find solutions of
nearly
all problems. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
be taken
care of by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
therefore
,
extremely
complicated issues like pandemics and warfare can
be tackled
easily
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
co-operation. To sum-up, I believe that a venture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
would bring subtle
yet
fundamental benefits
Possible spelling mistake found.
interms
of employability, progress of a country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb ‘help’ is used with an infinitive: “to find” or “find”.
finding
innovative ways of complex problems.
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IELTS essay Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private impatiens.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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