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Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 4
It is believed that scientific advancement will be able to extend the average life of human beings. Despite the fact that this scientific breakthrough may give the chance to mankind to spend much more time with their loved ones, it might endanger the whole world, especially: nature, accommodation, overpopulation and lack of nutrition. I am going to shed some light on the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. On the one hand, each and every human who lives on the earth had been taught about immortality once in their lifetime so this discovery would make them cheer. Living for about a century or above may be a great opportunity for the elderly to become perfect and also help youngsters to obtain more experience, in spite of their age. Therefore, the older generation will have much more leisure time to spend with their folks, friends and their grandchildren, in particular. On the other hand, this lifespan expanding will cause adverse influence both on the globe and the young generation. The youngest may have to work harder in order to satisfy the elderly need, also they should play the role of a nurse for their parents at home, for example. Thus, the senior generation will put their burdens on their children and grandchildren's shoulders. In addition, the world will need to extend food resources due to overpopulation, which is rarely possible with global warming. This trend undoubtedly will devastate nature owing to overusing the oxygen, nutrition and minerals. To conclude, although people wish to have a longer lifespan, I think science should not go against the law of nature as it will aggravate the environment.
It
is believed
that scientific advancement will be able to extend the average life of human beings. Despite the fact that this scientific breakthrough may give the chance to mankind to spend much more time with their
loved
ones, it might endanger the whole world,
especially
: nature, accommodation, overpopulation and lack of nutrition. I am going to shed
some
light on the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

On the one hand, each and every human who
lives
on the earth had
been taught
about immortality once in their lifetime
so
this discovery would
make
them cheer. Living for about a century or above may be a great opportunity for the elderly to become perfect and
also
help
youngsters to obtain more experience,
in spite of
their age.
Therefore
, the older generation will have much more leisure time to spend with their folks, friends and their grandchildren,
in particular
.

On the other hand
, this lifespan expanding will cause adverse influence both on the globe and the young generation. The youngest may
have to
work harder in order to satisfy the elderly need,
also
they should play the role of a nurse for their parents at home,
for example
.
Thus
, the senior generation will put their burdens on their children and grandchildren's shoulders.
In addition
, the world will need to extend food resources due to overpopulation, which is rarely possible with global warming. This trend
undoubtedly
will devastate nature owing to overusing the oxygen, nutrition and minerals.

To conclude
, although
people
wish to have a longer lifespan, I
think
science should not go against the law of nature as it will aggravate the environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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