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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.38

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 38
We are living in the materialistic era these days. Nowadays, social status and wealth of the person plays a major role in determining his value in society. To a certain extent, I would agree with the statement that materialistic possessions are the driving factor while making a judgment about a person, However, I also believe that we cannot completely ignore the importance of moral values like as Honesty, Integrity and the positive attitude. This essay will discuss both aspects of above notion and will provide the final opinion. First of all, the current generation is more inclined towards materialistic world. Outer appearance, such as clothes, jewellery or costly possession like a luxury car or Gucci bag is valued more while making perception about any person. For example, many celebrities like Kim Kardasian are famous only due to their expensive outfits. They hardly display any world class acting skills in their TV shows. Secondly, some celebrities are sons and daughters of rich families. For instance Paris Hilton has inherited luxurious lifestyle from her family. Although she has a bad attitude, still she is very famous because she inherits the assets of her parents. However, we cannot completely ignore the relevance of traditional values. An employer will always look for those employees which have strong personality traits such as honest behaviour, integrity and dedication towards their work. Morover, a businessman will always prefer to do business with the partner who values, ethical practices more than any fake work commitments. In other words, a person's worth is judged according to the behaviour and circumstances. To conclude, the majority of judgements are still based upon the social status of the person. I opined that materialistic possessions play crucial role in determining individual's worth. However, we can significantly lessen this trend by teaching our young generation about their cultures.
We are living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materialistic
era these days. Nowadays, social status and wealth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
plays a major role in determining his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in society. To a certain extent, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materialistic
possessions are the driving factor while making a judgment about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
,
However
, I
also
believe that we cannot completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of moral values like as Honesty, Integrity and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude. This essay will discuss both aspects of above notion and will provide the final opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation is more inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materialistic
world. Outer appearance, such as clothes,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
or costly possession like a luxury car or Gucci bag
is valued
more while making perception about any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities like Kim
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kardasian
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due to their expensive outfits. They hardly display any world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebrities are sons and daughters of rich families.
For instance
Paris Hilton has inherited luxurious lifestyle from her family. Although she has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
attitude,
still
she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she inherits the assets of her parents.

However
, we cannot completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the relevance of traditional values. An employer will always look for those employees which have strong personality traits such as honest
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, integrity and dedication towards their work.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
, a businessman will always prefer to do business with the partner who values, ethical practices more than any fake work commitments.
In other words
, a person's worth
is judged
according to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and circumstances.

To conclude
, the majority of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('judgement' and 'judgment') within a single text.
judgements
are
still
based upon the social status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. I opined that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materialistic
possessions play crucial role in determining individual's worth.
However
, we can
significantly
lessen this trend by teaching our young generation about their cultures.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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