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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree? v.26

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree? v. 26
It is argued that states should charge fast food companies more tax because of the growing amount of men and women with health conditions associated with this type of food. This essay totally agrees with that statement because these illnesses cost the health service too much money and increasing the price of junk food would reduce the demand for it. Obesity-related illnesses cost the taxpayer billions of dollars every year. People who eat too much fast food are more likely to suffer from diseases, such as heart disease and diabetes. As a result, the have to go to the hospital more regularly for treatment and this puts a strain on the health service. For example, the United Kingdom’s Nation Health Service is expected to spend more than $2 billion on diabetes this year. Another reason why fast-food companies should pay extra tax is to raise the cost and decrease demand. Any extra tax would be added to the normal price of the food and as prices go up, fewer people will be able to afford to buy fatty food. Therefore, this would reduce the amount of junk food people are eating and the result would be a skinnier and healthier nation. For example, I used to smoke 20 cigarettes every day, but the government kept increasing the prices and now I can’t afford to smoke as much as I did. In conclusion, junk food should be taxed at a higher rate because of the health risks it poses and the fact that the increased cost should reduce the amount of fast food people buy.
It
is argued
that states should charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
more tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the growing amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions associated with this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these illnesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service too much money and increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the demand for it.

Obesity-related illnesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
the taxpayer billions of dollars every year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who eat too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are more likely to suffer from diseases, such as heart disease and diabetes.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the hospital more
regularly
for treatment and this puts a strain on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service.
For example
, the United Kingdom’s Nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Service is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to spend more than $2 billion on diabetes this year.

Another reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should pay extra tax is to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and decrease demand. Any extra tax would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
go up, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Therefore
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating and the result would be a skinnier and healthier nation.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to smoke 20 cigarettes every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I can’t afford to smoke as much as I did.

In conclusion
, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be taxed
at a higher rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
it poses and the fact that the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree? v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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