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Schools should be moved to the outskirts of cities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this statement v.2

Schools should be moved to the outskirts of cities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this statement v. 2
In Turkey, there is a debate about where schools should be located. Some people strongly object to schools on the outskirts of cities whereas some others assert that schools locating on outskirts will beneficial for children motivation and development. This essay will argue whether outskirt schools are advantageous or not for children. Schools in outside of cities support children development more rather than schools locating in downtowns. Firstly, urban areas have the low-density population so school area poses less danger related to that students can learn or play in outside without any concern. Research shows that learning outside containing abundant oxygen more beneficial than traditional classrooms because children learn by observing nature itself. Therefore, schools should concentrate on outside classrooms and one of the solution is constructing school far away from the city centers because these locations are far away from pollution and pose fewer threats to students such as traffic accidents or kidnapping when they play and learn on colossal land. Despite the advantageous sides, outskirts schools have some drawbacks. Outskirts are far away from children’ settlements so children are obliged to use school bus and spend their valuable times on the roads. Thus, children have to wake up earlier and feel more tired when they come home at evenings. This schedule can highly affect their fragile bodies and damages their developments even they become reluctant to go to schools. Secondly, the environment is essential for children social developments. In this isolated area, children don’t know harsh life in cities. Hence, children alienate to real life so they experienced socializing issues. For this reason, idea of outside schools should be considered again by taking in consideration transportation and socializing problems. In this essay, the outskirt schools are discussed considering their both negative and positive sides. In conclusion, outskirts school negative sides outweigh its positive sides. Schools create their own nature by their proper arrangements so children both play and learn in nature, and become more socialize by realized
In Turkey, there is a debate about where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
be located
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
object to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outskirts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
locating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outskirts
will beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This essay will argue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outskirt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are advantageous or not for children.

Schools in
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outside
of
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cities
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
more
rather
than
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schools
locating in
Possible spelling mistake found.
downtowns
.
Firstly
, urban areas have the low-density population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
area poses less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
related to that students can
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learn
or play in
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outside
without any concern. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that learning
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outside
containing abundant oxygen more beneficial than traditional classrooms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
by observing nature itself.
Therefore
,
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schools
should concentrate on
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outside
classrooms and one of the solution is constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
far away from the city centers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these locations are far away from pollution and pose fewer threats to students such as traffic accidents or kidnapping when they play and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
on colossal land.

Despite the advantageous
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sides
,
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outskirts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
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Outskirts
are far away from
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children’
settlements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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children
are obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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school
bus and spend their valuable times on the roads.
Thus
,
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children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up earlier and feel more tired when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home at evenings. This schedule can
highly
affect their fragile bodies and damages their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
even they become reluctant to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Secondly
, the environment is essential for
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children
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
. In this isolated area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t know harsh life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Hence
,
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children
alienate to real life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they experienced socializing issues.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
be considered
again by taking in consideration transportation and socializing problems.

In this essay, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outskirt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are discussed
considering their both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outskirts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
outweigh its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nature by their proper arrangements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
both play and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in nature, and become more socialize by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
realized
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools should be moved to the outskirts of cities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this statement v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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